What to do in case of a terrorist attack (1 Viewer)

Zlatan

Senior Member
Jun 9, 2003
23,035
#1
I found this extremely funny :D


The US government has a new website aimed at preparing its citizens for terrorist attacks. It's another attempt at scare-mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice of WWII. The funny thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations...


1.


If you have set yourself on fire, do not run...



2.


If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.



3.


If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder



4.


If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.



5.


Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!



6.


The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.



7.


Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the **** away.



8.


Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.



9.


Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.



10.


If a door is closed, karate chop it open



11.


If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.



12.


Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile



13.


After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.



14.


If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.



15.


If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.



16.


If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.



17.


If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.



18.


If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.



19.


Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.



20.


A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation



21.


Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you'll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.
 
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Zlatan

Senior Member
Jun 9, 2003
23,035
#4
++ [ originally posted by nosubstitute959 ] ++
You gotta be kidding me. :LOL: This is made by the U.S. govt?!! :eek: Did Bush design the signs by any chance? :totti:

I dont know if it's real or not, but it's fvcking brilliant :D
 

Vinman

2013 Prediction Cup Champ
Jul 16, 2002
11,480
#7
Thats pretty funny Zlatan, especially #17

I think I would be shitting my pants, not farting, in a nuclear attack......
 

gray

Senior Member
Moderator
Apr 22, 2003
30,102
#9
++ [ originally posted by nosubstitute959 ] ++
You gotta be kidding me. :LOL: This is made by the U.S. govt?!! :eek: Did Bush design the signs by any chance? :totti:
Of course it's not :) It's just a parody some guy made based on signs that have been (presumably) made by an official source.

As swag said, a similar thing happened with flight safety manual diagrams, that was pretty damn funny :)

++ [ originally posted by nosubstitute959 ] ++
This is my favorite. :D
Me too :D
 
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Zlatan

Senior Member
Jun 9, 2003
23,035
#13
You already posted that one dumbass :p


Besides, I dont find it funny :undecide:


My examples really made me laugh :D
 

Elnur_E65

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2004
10,848
#17
Oh man what a great thread! I'm loving it!

Actually, the British Gov-t has printed a smth like 60 million booklets on terrorism, to be mailed to every single household in the UK.
 

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