What Are You Doing Right Now? (302 Viewers)

[Seven]

Yeah, sometimes you need just a picture to show you how ridiculous an argument can be.

Something else, how is your relationship with the color blue going these days, @Hængebøffer? You still fond of her?

 

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[Hængebøffer]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

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Though it could be that half the time I'm posting here, I'm drunk.

 

[Seven]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, as king Ale was saying that we have no control over the amount of love we feel for either people or cake, I'm assuming that this holds true for all other things in life as well.

 

[Hængebøffer]

I'm stuck in a nihlistic limbo, where I really don't care about anyone other than the people I got a responsibility for.

 

[IliveForJuve]

I've always loved Hoori.

I can't control it.

 

[king Ale]

First of all I would like to point out that I don't believe arguments about these subjects can be 'won'.

I agree. I don't think you think like that though. Sorry.

And easy, you didn't offend me. Taking digs at others is part and parcel of who you are and I have never disliked you for that, in case you think that was what I was referring to. By ethics of discussion I meant the way you formulate your arguments; you tend to twist things, attribute things to the person you argue with that he or she has not said, emphasize irrelavnt points in an exaggerated manner, etc. And you did it again with this post. You have made wrong inferences again and have attributed them to me. And you realize that regardless of whether what you do is intentional or not I can't do much about it, so there's no point going on.

 

[Seven]

I don't understand this argument. "It shouldn't take someone this long to take over someone." "I don't get how that happens." "You must have been inexperienced."

Well, of course I was inexperienced. Inexperienced people exist, don't they? So if we know that what's the point of shaming people for their experiences??

There's no need for shaming, but I'm not sure that's the right word here. If I, after a year, were still feeling depressed over a girl I dated for a few weeks, my best friend would probably tell me to stop being such a bitch about it. And while I am almost sure that would be his exact words, I'm also sure that his intent would not be to shame me, but rather to give me advice. If you took any of this as a personal insult, I am sure that this is now how it was meant.

But I guess most people feel the way ALC does. If you had many different women in your life, it's unlikely you would have spent this much time thinking about her. And because you've now had this experience, I think it's very doubtful that you will spend this much time thinking about the next one.

 

[king Ale]

Do you believe that these relationships are 'wrong'

Which ones?

 

[Seven]

I agree. I don't think you think like that though. Sorry.

And easy, you didn't offend me. Taking digs at others is part and parcel of who you are and I have never disliked you for that, in case you think that was what I was referring to. By ethics of discussion I meant the way you formulate your arguments; you tend to twist things, attribute things to the person you argue with that he or she has not said, emphasize irrelavnt points in an exaggerated manner, etc. And you did it again with this post. You have made wrong inferences again and have attributed them to me. And you realize that regardless of whether what you do is intentional or not I can't do much about it, so there's no point going on.

Whether you believe I think like that or not is something I have no control over. But like I said, we're not in debate class. There's no jury, there's no judge. This isn't an argument I'm trying to 'win'. This is something I truly believe.

I do emphasize and exaggerate certain points. I admit that. But the fact you think loving cake is even in the same realm as loving another person is by no means irrelevant to this discussion.

 

[IliveForJuve]

The weirdest thing about all this discussion was when Martin mentioned it took him over 3 years to get over someone he didn't even date

I'm not trying to shame him but it's honestly unimaginable for me.

 

[king Ale]

Did I miss something or didn't you write the opposite? Then I agree.

I said I can't control feeling affection or attraction or love or whatever (just so we are good on semantics) for a kid's parent but I can make a controlled conscious decision not to sleep with him.

 

[Hængebøffer]

I said I can't control feeling affection or attraction or love or whatever (just so we are good on semantics) for a kid's parent but I can make a controlled conscious decision not to sleep with him.

But I strongly disagree here. You should, as an adult and professional, be able not put yourself in a position, where you fall in love with the parent. You can be physically attracted to the person, but that's biology, I guess.

 

[Seven]

The weirdest thing about all this discussion was when Martin mentioned it took him over 3 years to get over someone he didn't even date

I'm not trying to shame him but it's honestly unimaginable for me.

I can relate. The same kind of thing happened to me in high school. But I must admit that once high school was over and I didn't see her on a daily basis anymore, I got over her in a matter of two weeks. So in my case it was definitely due to inexperience.

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But I strongly disagree here. You should, as an adult and professional, be able not put yourself in a position, where you fall in love with the parent. You can be physically attracted to the person, but that's biology, I guess.

Yes. Exactly. Actions will create feelings. You can choose to act differently and prevent those feelings. Of course people can't dictate infatuation or biological attraction. But they can choose to follow up on it and try to make it something more serious. For example I am attracted to Mila Kunis. I have decided however to not act upon this attraction and try to pursue a relationship (in which inevitably actual feelings would develop), instead allowing Ashton Kutcher to enjoy his family.

 

[Hængebøffer]

I can relate. The same kind of thing happened to me in high school. But I must admit that once high school was over and I didn't see her on a daily basis anymore, I got over her in a matter of two weeks. So in my case it was definitely due to inexperience.

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Yes. Exactly. Actions will create feelings. You can choose to act differently and prevent those feelings. Of course people can't dictate infatuation or biological attraction. But they can choose to follow up on it and try to make it something more serious. For example I am attracted to Mila Kunis. I have decided however to not act upon this attraction, instead allowing Ashton Kutcher to enjoy his family.

But I gotta say (and this is only from my experience) that women tend to "fall in love" much quicker than men do.

 

[king Ale]

But I strongly disagree here. You should, as an adult and professional, be able not put yourself in a position, where you fall in love with the parent. You can be physically attracted to the person, but that's biology, I guess.

But it's okay so long as your feeling doesn't lead to an unprofessional (in the case you mentioned) action, right?

 

[Seven]

But I gotta say (and this is only from my experience) that women tend to "fall in love" much quicker than men do.

Maybe. Personally I have seen a lot of people mistake infatuation for love. A lot of people also wrongly attribute certain characteristics to a person, just because they are very attracted to this person - this is something that I have seen more often in women, when they justify a man's behaviour, just because they are attracted to him.

Some of this has been confirmed through studies by the way. We often are more trusting towards goodlooking people. Wrongly assuming that because a person is pretty he or she will also be trustworthy.

 

[Hængebøffer]

But it's okay so long as your feeling doesn't lead to an unprofessional (in the case you mentioned) action, right?

That's totally fine, but I really don't understand why someone would put themself in such a position.

 

[Seven]

That's totally fine, but I really don't understand why someone would put themself in such a position.

Because then they can complain about this self inflicted torture, I guess.

 

[Quetzalcoatl]

The weirdest thing about all this discussion was when Martin mentioned it took him over 3 years to get over someone he didn't even date

I'm not trying to shame him but it's honestly unimaginable for me.

Happened to me once. Not 3 years, but a long time. Definitely was a good learning experience though

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[Enron]

The weirdest thing about all this discussion was when Martin mentioned it took him over 3 years to get over someone he didn't even date

I'm not trying to shame him but it's honestly unimaginable for me.

Everyone has different definitions of what getting over someone means. So it's probably not at all what you're thinking.