What Are You Doing Right Now? (323 Viewers)

[Dragon]

Well, it's a legitimate question even if maybe not asked precisely.

The general question is: given families, etc., is Sheik subject to the possibility of an arranged marriage anytime soon?

Btw, I used to have a very Western view that arranged marriages are like a death sentence from your parents. I know a lot of friends whose wedding photos have them just getting to know each other and hold hands for the first time.

But in time, I've completely reversed that opinion. I've seen a lot of people -- a lot of people -- whose own ideas of romantic love and choice are completely idiotic and could use the help of an outside third party. It's certainly a very different model, but Western romantic love is completely laden with flaws, bad pregnancies, domestic abuse, alcoholism, extramarital affairs, and the stupidity of people who don't know themselves at all and continue to repeat fatal mistakes. It's such a screwed up and flawed system, random drawings or even choosings by your parents might be better.

I agree with what you're saying there. The divorce rate in the western world is insane. I don't think an arranged marriage like Sheik mentioned (your parents set you up and they let you date your "SO" for a year) is as bad. Personally I don't know how comfortable I would be if my parents put me in that position though.

Also I read an article about Taiwanese men who "shop" for wives in Vietnam. Apparently there are poor vietnamese girls who want a better future and to provide for their families so they sign up for this program where they take them to a hotel and these Taiwanese boys look at them and if they choose one of them they get married the next day and have to move to Taiwan with their new husband

 

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[Dragon]

I'm jewish

Black jew??? That's a first

 

[Dragon]

I'd love for someone to arrange a marriage for me. Granted the girl was within my parameters of looks, intelligence, and personality.

I wouldn't go as far as marriage, but a relationship with the option of going away if it doesn't work out haha

 

[swag]

I agree with what you're saying there. The divorce rate in the western world is insane. I don't think an arranged marriage like Sheik mentioned (your parents set you up and they let you date your "SO" for a year) is as bad. Personally I don't know how comfortable I would be if my parents put me in that position though.

Also I read an article about Taiwanese men who "shop" for wives in Vietnam. Apparently there are poor vietnamese girls who want a better future and to provide for their families so they sign up for this program where they take them to a hotel and these Taiwanese boys look at them and if they choose one of them they get married the next day and have to move to Taiwan with their new husband

That Taiwanese stuff is just having a full-time, live-in nanny and hooker.

I've seen how arranged marriages can work because emotional decisions can be highly charged and rarely rational by their de facto nature. They can fail as well, but for very different reasons. They tend to be bottom-up instead of top-down, or the slow burn versus the explosive burn-out.

 

[Enron]

I wouldn't go as far as marriage, but a relationship with the option of going away if it doesn't work out haha

Yeah that's true. I guess I mean I wouldn't mind being "fixed up".

 

[Dragon]

Parents are from Pakistan. I was born in Norway.

Cool, I didn't know that!

Are you going back to Pakistan to find a girl to marry?

 

[Fake Melo]

Also I read an article about Taiwanese men who "shop" for wives in Vietnam. Apparently there are poor vietnamese girls who want a better future and to provide for their families so they sign up for this program where they take them to a hotel and these Taiwanese boys look at them and if they choose one of them they get married the next day and have to move to Taiwan with their new husband

Happening a lot in Norway as well. Divorced middleaged Norwegians goes to Thailand and picks up younger wives. Some of them are just horny bastards but others wants to create a family. Thai women are very softhearted, some of them have been beaten by their ex-husbands etc so when a Norwegian guy comes along and treats them well it's enough for them. A visa to Norway and a new chance as long as their husbands treats them nice. As for the Norwegians, they get a good looking younger wife who doesn't complain and does whatever you want.

 

[Sheik Yerbouti]

Right.
And when they find a girl with right caste and religion your horoscopes doesn't match

Exactly. I really don't believe in that bullshit anymore. But I'll just go along with it cos my mom, the girl and maybe their parents might consider it a lot. But whatever happens, I'm not gonna teach my kids to be religious.

The general question is: given families, etc., is Sheik subject to the possibility of an arranged marriage anytime soon?

Btw, I used to have a very Western view that arranged marriages are like a death sentence from your parents. I know a lot of friends whose wedding photos have them just getting to know each other and hold hands for the first time.

But in time, I've completely reversed that opinion. I've seen a lot of people -- a lot of people -- whose own ideas of romantic love and choice are completely idiotic and could use the help of an outside third party. It's certainly a very different model, but Western romantic love is completely laden with flaws, bad pregnancies, domestic abuse, alcoholism, extramarital affairs, and the stupidity of people who don't know themselves at all and continue to repeat fatal mistakes. It's such a screwed up and flawed system, random drawings or even choosings by your parents might be better.

Yes, the possibility of me getting "arranged" in the next 2 years is pretty high. And that's part of my dilemma. I wanna have a decent relationship with a girl I choose before getting married to anyone. I don't want my last memory of an attempt at a relationship to be one that ended in 3 months and was painful and emotionally unfulfilling.

The system of arranged marriage worked pretty well here in the past, but it's progressed well enough to a stage where the couple at least get to spend some time together and know each other before getting married or even engaged.

 

[swag]

Black jew??? That's a first

"I ain't grooving with you cats out there!"

 

[Dragon]

That Taiwanese stuff is just having a full-time, live-in nanny and hooker.

I've seen how arranged marriages can work because emotional decisions can be highly charged and rarely rational by their de facto nature. They can fail as well, but for very different reasons. They tend to be bottom-up instead of top-down, or the slow burn versus the explosive burn-out.

Exactly.

I imagine it must suck to agree to an arranged marriage and then finding out you have no chemistry at all.

Or you could agree to it and the person ends up being perfect.

It's a lottery. But marriage is like that everywhere. Maybe you end up marrying the person of your dreams and they cheat on you

 

[Kasaki]

So you are Italian-Nigerian-American jew?

would be a cool combo lol

Black jew??? That's a first

just kidding

 

[Dragon]

Yeah that's true. I guess I mean I wouldn't mind being "fixed up".

Exactly. I guess I wouldn't mind it either

 

[Fake Melo]

Cool, I didn't know that!

Are you going back to Pakistan to find a girl to marry?

No, but my brother did (his own choice at age of 27)
I'll find a girl here, I am not into the cultural-thing of looking for a girl back home. It's too complicated for me.

My parents wouldn't mind as long as the girl is muslim. Of course they'll have a say in it. I would never go against my parents.

 

[Sheik Yerbouti]

Yeah that's true. I guess I mean I wouldn't mind being "fixed up".

I do NOT want my mom to become my pimp.

 

[X Æ A-12]

I want a Jamba Jewce.

 

[Kasaki]

So you are Italian-Nigerian-American jew?

"I ain't grooving with you cats out there!"

Is also a black jew

 

[X Æ A-12]

Is also a black jew

A homosexual black jew? Poor him.

 

[Dragon]

Exactly. I really don't believe in that bullshit anymore. But I'll just go along with it cos my mom, the girl and maybe their parents might consider it a lot. But whatever happens, I'm not gonna teach my kids to be religious.

Yes, the possibility of me getting "arranged" in the next 2 years is pretty high. And that's part of my dilemma. I wanna have a decent relationship with a girl I choose before getting married to anyone. I don't want my last memory of an attempt at a relationship to be one that ended in 3 months and was painful and emotionally unfulfilling.

The system of arranged marriage worked pretty well here in the past, but it's progressed well enough to a stage where the couple at least get to spend some time together and know each other before getting married or even engaged.

If that's the case, you could tell your mom to fix you up with the girl, take her on a few dates and figure out if you want to take it further

 

[Fake Melo]

I do NOT want my mom to become my pimp.

These "rishta-organizations" are real pimps

 

[X Æ A-12]

No, but my brother did (his own choice at age of 27)
I'll find a girl here, I am not into the cultural-thing of looking for a girl back home. It's too complicated for me.

My parents wouldn't mind as long as the girl is muslim. Of course they'll have a say in it. I would never go against my parents.

Really?