What Are You Doing Right Now? (134 Viewers)

[Sheik Yerbouti]

Why not? It's not big enough?

 

Buy on AliExpress.com

[Enron]

Or break them using the laser,but he has been after me for 3 years to get it done...i think i just might do it,dont want to take too much damage trying to postpone it.



Kidney stones,a LOT.

Yeah dog. You need to get them shits out, otherwise your talking about fucking your shit further. And then once them buggers are the fuck outta your neighborhood, you need to a goddamned lifestyle chance. Kidney stones twice in three years? Stop drinking the gatorade, breakfast lunch and dinner.

 

[JuveJay]

And stop eating stones.

 

[swag]

Next time put it in the safe.

You're in South Africa, B. Isn't it legal there to have flames shoot out of your sandwich if someone unauthorized touches it in the office fridge?

 

[Red]

Trying to motivate myself to go and vote.

 

[Trezegol17]

Thx guys

Sheik...yep that's true..but i dont think that is an option at this stage

What's the risk of them coming back Woody? I have you feel beter soon bro!

 

[swag]

Oh, and because I can't let a day go by without reporting some freaky true life story...

In a previous job I worked in a six-story office of about 600 people. We had a rampant lunch thief. And s/he struck floor to floor on different weeks. It goes on for months. It got so bad, HR wanted it handled as a staff morale issue. Whomever was guilty earned a price on their head.

Now the company I was working for does online high-tech reporting, reviews, etc. So we get all the pimped out tech gear before most of the public. And so a few enterprising souls decided to rig all floors of the office with remote, door-sensor-activated mini-web-cams.

We caught the guy. It was one guy. He worked on my team and was someone I inherited from an acquisition. So I am there in an office firing the guy for repeat employee theft. Next to me are a couple of dudes with a TV and the multiple video evidence (some 5x). The guy keeps saying, "Oh, that's not me." Flatly denying it.

One of the more bizarre firing stories I ever had.

 

[Kate]

I have never understood the lunch thief, but there has been one at every office I have worked at. That is beyond strange, Greg.

 

[swag]

When word got out among the employees that we had caught and "dealt with" the infamous lunch thief, the office exploded into cheers like the death of bin Laden.

And like bin Laden, we never shared our video evidence. But employees were crafty at figuring out who it was, as we never named names.

 

[JuveJay]

Trying to motivate myself to go and vote.

I have to walk 100 yards to the polling station, it's tough.

 

[swag]

I have to walk 100 yards to the polling station, it's tough.

A couple of pints between here and democracy? int: int:

 

[Bozi]

fuck my job,i am so tired this week



but week of next week

 

[JuveJay]

A couple of pints between here and democracy? int: int:

No, they knocked my local down and are building a community centre The pub is a fricking community centre, with beer, drunks and youths you can punch without feeling bad about it.

 

[swag]

No, they knocked my local down and are building a community centre

Commies.

 

[Byrone]

Those office fatties. Perhaps she was the same person who stole a wheel of cheese out of our office fridge over the weekend. We were also missing a box of croissants and a whole brioche. Please bring this matter up in your warning.

Why on earth would you guys have a wheel of cheese at work anyway?

Next time put it in the safe.

The keys to the safe are not kept on the premises. There's a private security company that collects all the cash.

Manos finally got revenge huh?

Word.

Just came back from the hospital....had to get admitted last night around 5 am,took some injections and slept like a horse...
The senior doc is wanting me to go under the knife just like he did 3 years ago,i want to avoid it at all costs

Kidney stones sounds like an old mans disease. That's what you get for having threesomes with squint chinese virgins. Seriously, get that shit out asap!

You're in South Africa, B. Isn't it legal there to have flames shoot out of your sandwich if someone unauthorized touches it in the office fridge?

That would have been a great idea, a bit too late now.

Trying to motivate myself to go and vote.

I have municipal elections on the 18th of this month. Just get it over & done with.

 

[Kate]

No, they knocked my local down and are building a community centre The pub is a fricking community centre, with beer, drunks and youths you can punch without feeling bad about it.

Wasn't there a church or a hospital they could have knocked down instead?

Why on earth would you guys have a wheel of cheese at work anyway?

It's the French and Italian Department. We like to entertain.

 

[Byrone]

Oh, and because I can't let a day go by without reporting some freaky true life story...

In a previous job I worked in a six-story office of about 600 people. We had a rampant lunch thief. And s/he struck floor to floor on different weeks. It goes on for months. It got so bad, HR wanted it handled as a staff morale issue. Whomever was guilty earned a price on their head.

Now the company I was working for does online high-tech reporting, reviews, etc. So we get all the pimped out tech gear before most of the public. And so a few enterprising souls decided to rig all floors of the office with remote, door-sensor-activated mini-web-cams.

We caught the guy. It was one guy. He worked on my team and was someone I inherited from an acquisition. So I am there in an office firing the guy for repeat employee theft. Next to me are a couple of dudes with a TV and the multiple video evidence (some 5x). The guy keeps saying, "Oh, that's not me." Flatly denying it.

One of the more bizarre firing stories I ever had.

Is he South African?

Why do they always deny it vehemently even when there's a mountain of evidence against them? I had three logistics managers that kept on stealing stock, month after month & these guys weren't afraid of living beyond their means. One of them even bought a bmw that's installments were three time higher than his salary.

 

[swag]

Is he South African?

Why do they always deny it vehemently even when there's a mountain of evidence against them? I had three logistics managers that kept on stealing stock, month after month & these guys weren't afraid of living beyond their means. One of them even bought a bmw that's installments were three time higher than his salary.

He is a native of Hong Kong, actually. There's a bizarre klepto-like element to his behavior. It had clearly become compulsive. And while the guy was not svelte, he was not a complete fatso either.

But yeah, it's like he even cognitively could not accept seeing himself in the video reaching into a fridge and taking staged food that wasn't his. It was pretty bizarre. Serious denial.

 

[Osman]

I remember a summer job ages ago where we had a big time lunch thief, the boss caught the thief by leaving behind very garlic strong food the thief stole and then later smelled on him, I kid you not


And oh, HAPPY MAY 5TH EVERYONE, REMEMBER TO HUG YOUR LAZIALI FRIENDS TIGHTLY!

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

God, I feel so much better today. I was out of my mind yesterday, hungover for the majority of it.