Other day, I was doing the bump
Then I found myself taking a dump
It gave me time to contemplate
The state of my hair and its terrible fate
Spent my life fighting off the pigs
Drinking beer and a smoking cigs
Stealing riffs and a blowing gigs
But now I'm stuck Googling for wigs
Skin is glowing, dome is showing
My bio clock is ticking so fast
And it's gonna be, Hell Toupee, Hell Toupee
Can't stand losing my hair this way
Hell Toupee, Hell Toupee, not now, no way...