Qatar Announces World Cup 2022 Science Committee
CNN International
After FIFA President Sepp Blatter's request to move the 2022 World Cup to Winter, the nation of Qatar has announced the development of a new exploratory committee to research techniques to decrease air temperatures in stadiums and the country as a whole. The new committee, called the Qatar Islamic Science Committee, will use the scientific method in order to save the World Cup from being displaced from the usual months of June and July.
The committee will call upon scientists and scholars from all over the world, including famous Qatari researchers Orville and Wilbur Wright, famous for developing the first airplane on the beaches of Doha. Moreover, scholars such as alien investigator Steven Quayle and Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps will be monthly attendees to the conferences.
As one could imagine, several ideas have already been purported by the scientists in order to solve the core issue at hand, which is in-stadium temperatures. For instance, one idea from American researcher Rachel Jeantel uses Homeland Security to confiscate air conditioning units from white Americans in order to set them up in the thousands of empty seats during the 2022 World Cup. Other ideas include the development of alien-like flying saucers that form a dome over the Qatari stadiums that contain built-in super-cooling elements within the underbody of the vessels, thus cooling the stadiums and surrounding areas after the matches. And in a final, more reasonable idea, Fred Phelps and the Wright Brothers hypothesized they could use nukes to vaporize the country in 2013, thus creating a massive cooling effect by 2022.
The committee will use the scientific method to test said hypotheses to determine the best course of action.
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