The Official 'Stupid Quotes' Thread (5 Viewers)

Apr 12, 2004
77,165
#1
(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey


"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .


" I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward .


"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .


"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .


"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Former Vice President


"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."
-- Dan Quayle


"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca


"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, Former NFL quarterback & sports analyst.


"We don'! t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .


"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina


"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery


"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman


"I hate Jews!"
--Jesus H. Christ, Former Martyr and Savior
 

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OP
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Apr 12, 2004
77,165
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread Starter #4
    "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

    "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe."
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

    "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

    "And with an alphabetical irony, Nigeria follows New Zealand"
    - David Coleman, Sportscaster

    "There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people"
    - David Coleman, Sportscaster

    "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
    - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
     
    Jan 7, 2004
    29,704
    #10
    "I felt so bad yesterday that decided to open this topic.... and express myself...

    Yesterday night i turned the TV on and saw Chelsea - Werder match was Live!... then I realized that Juve will not participate this year (next year) and fel such EMPTINESS!!!

    CL without Juventus is something different... everyone was afraid of Juve but no one would admit it...

    DAMN that Scandal! Juve was playing great in CL also and do they want to say that they cheated there too???

    Anyway ... just express what CL means for you without Juve!

    I plan not to watch it at all for me - CL without Juve is EMPTY!!!"

    - kostarica, juventuz's idiot of the month
     

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