shitmydadsays (4 Viewers)

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

Stumbled onto this, it's hilarious....

http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays

 

Buy on AliExpress.com

[Yamen]

wtf?!

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

So true:

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

 

[Christina]

If only I could remember all of the things he said...

 

[Byrone]

"If mom calls, tell her I'm shitting... Son, marriage is about not having to lie about taking a shit."

 

[.zero]

 

[.zero]

while we're on the topic

http://twitter.com/stffrmmatesays

 

[Byrone]

"I can sit down and write a paper"-Me "I can't. Well, maybe if I had read more when I was younger, instead of just playing with my dick."-E.

Dusan?

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

 

[The Curr]

"I can sit down and write a paper"-Me "I can't. Well, maybe if I had read more when I was younger, instead of just playing with my dick."-E.

Dusan?

No. If it was anyone from Juventuz it'd say "deck", not dick.

 

[X Æ A-12]

So true:

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

 

[Quetzalcoatl]

"It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works."

 

[Salvo]

 

[V]

"If mom calls, tell her I'm shitting... Son, marriage is about not having to lie about taking a shit."

That was my favorite as well.

oh and:

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."



and for Andy:

"I wanted to see Detroit win. I've been there. It's like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news."

 

[Zé Tahir]

So true:

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

Def. true

"If mom calls, tell her I'm shitting... Son, marriage is about not having to lie about taking a shit."

 

[Delle Alpi]

By the way most of the stuff he said is not original, they are quoted. Weak

 

[7WordsOrLess]

Welcome to 5 months ago.

This is the latest Twitter fad, so I hope you don't post this next May.

http://twitter.com/newlywedsontjob