R.I.P. Todd and Timmy (5 Viewers)
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Terror at New Jersey Shopping Mall
New York Times
December 5, 2008
Christmas shoppers at the Hackensack Riverside Shopping Mall experienced a day of doom as terrorists infiltrated the shopping center. Reports from the AP explain a day of horror for all those involved.
At 3:11pm on Tuesday afternoon, dark-skinned terrorists infiltrated the Riverside Shopping Mall in Hackensack wielding AK-47's and various bags, police said. The terrorists, later to be identified as Somali citizens, closed all exits and took entire control of the facility with approximately 18 gunmen. The terrorists wrecked havoc on the mall by pointing weapons at people and ordering them to stand in lines.
According to an AP held hostage, the terrorists lined shoppers up as if they were bowling pins in a bowling lane. Throughout the mall stood several hundred different human bowling pin lanes guarded by terrorists.
To the shoppers' horror, Somali pirates jumped down from the ceiling wielding human heads and human genitals, screaming in the faces of desperate shoppers. According to reports, the Somalis waved the heads of Todd and Timmy Burke, the heads of famous window washers that were disposed of by NYC officials. The Somalis reportedly hijacked the garbage truck carrying the heads to the landfill.
Onlookers were shoved to the floor, demanded to kiss the lifeless heads of Todd and Timmy, and ordered to stand up bowling form again.
According to reports, the horror continued as the Somali terrorists used the heads of Todd and Timmy as bowling balls for the human pins. The terrorists screamed, "anybody who does not fall if hit by the heads of these freaks will die by the gun."
The heads of Todd and Timmy were used on 28 sets of Pins, and astoundingly, the terrorists bowled continuous record games for the state of New Jersey, shooting at least 300 in each rounds with the heads.
This development will only further the legend of the Burke brothers, and their heads are rumored to be used at the next Word Championship of Bowling tournament.
www.nytimes.com
New York Times
December 5, 2008
Christmas shoppers at the Hackensack Riverside Shopping Mall experienced a day of doom as terrorists infiltrated the shopping center. Reports from the AP explain a day of horror for all those involved.
At 3:11pm on Tuesday afternoon, dark-skinned terrorists infiltrated the Riverside Shopping Mall in Hackensack wielding AK-47's and various bags, police said. The terrorists, later to be identified as Somali citizens, closed all exits and took entire control of the facility with approximately 18 gunmen. The terrorists wrecked havoc on the mall by pointing weapons at people and ordering them to stand in lines.
According to an AP held hostage, the terrorists lined shoppers up as if they were bowling pins in a bowling lane. Throughout the mall stood several hundred different human bowling pin lanes guarded by terrorists.
To the shoppers' horror, Somali pirates jumped down from the ceiling wielding human heads and human genitals, screaming in the faces of desperate shoppers. According to reports, the Somalis waved the heads of Todd and Timmy Burke, the heads of famous window washers that were disposed of by NYC officials. The Somalis reportedly hijacked the garbage truck carrying the heads to the landfill.
Onlookers were shoved to the floor, demanded to kiss the lifeless heads of Todd and Timmy, and ordered to stand up bowling form again.
According to reports, the horror continued as the Somali terrorists used the heads of Todd and Timmy as bowling balls for the human pins. The terrorists screamed, "anybody who does not fall if hit by the heads of these freaks will die by the gun."
The heads of Todd and Timmy were used on 28 sets of Pins, and astoundingly, the terrorists bowled continuous record games for the state of New Jersey, shooting at least 300 in each rounds with the heads.
This development will only further the legend of the Burke brothers, and their heads are rumored to be used at the next Word Championship of Bowling tournament.
www.nytimes.com
somebody please make a picture of Todd and Timmy's heads on a pike :rofl2:Your great-grandfather, Lawrence Applewhite "Balls" Tate settled on a patch of his vast ancestoral homestead in Indiana, where he founded the present-day Balls Tate University. Today, in conjunction with the impending 2009 launch of the new Ballz Out Pants collection, the university is changing it's name to "Ballz Tate".
The Ballz Tate Cardinals are proud to be 2008 MAC conference runners-up, and would like to congratulate Buffalo University on its championship season.
The Ballz Tate Cardinals are proud to be 2008 MAC conference runners-up, and would like to congratulate Buffalo University on its championship season.
RIP them off.
Remember when Gang Starr predicted this event? Make Em Pay is actually code for these attacks, and what happened to Todd and Timmy.
"Steppin up, y'all put your weapons up, I make heads fly"
... reveals the terror.
Somebody needs to investigate Guru. But he's probably just a really smart fellow who tried to warn people under the radar.
Remember when Gang Starr predicted this event? Make Em Pay is actually code for these attacks, and what happened to Todd and Timmy.
"Steppin up, y'all put your weapons up, I make heads fly"
... reveals the terror.
Somebody needs to investigate Guru. But he's probably just a really smart fellow who tried to warn people under the radar.
