Which reminds me... thinking of all the things that make America great.
So this afternoon, I'm walking down a sunny street in San Francisco's North Beach for lunch today, in balmy 73ºF weather (maybe 104º Kelvin

). I go to the A. Cavalli Italian import store and pick up a 150-page guide to football terms in six different languages (
Il Dizionario del Calcio in Sei Lingue) -- so I can scream, "Don't jump offsides again, you cocksucker!" in six different languages while watching the Champions League this year. And I picked up a giant prosciutto, of course.
And then looking around town, at the edge of nearby Chinatown, it dawns on me... one of the things that make this country great...
Only in America do you have the genius of taking hot Asian chicks -- who are typically flat-chested in their native countries -- and giving them massive cleavage. I mean, it's pure genius. A genetic mash-up. Somebody ought to win a Nobel Prize for that one...
Now if only we can take Bulgarian women and do something about all that facial hair...