A few years ago I had to have a
lateral internal sphincterotomy. Aka, "asshole surgery". You'll be fine, dude.
I'd tell you more deets about how I got to that point, but the story is a lot more foul and unappetizing than simply Mascherano tearing himself a new one on a tackle in a WC match.
I never was in so much pain in my life until then.