The papers were calling it the Tuz Wedding of the Century, and with just about every member of the public in attendance to witness the union most were calling “Jadass” (as “Jandy” and “Bezass Devil” just sounded stupid) it was certainly living up to its reputation.
The hour was swiftly approaching, and behind the scenes Janna was being attended by her best friend and chief bridesmaid, KatieDiFran. “You’re really lucky, Janski, Badass is pretty crispy”, she said as she polished the bride’s clogs. “I hope Matty proposes to me one day.”
“Who is Matty?” Janna asked.
“Third World Wonder, he’s the lead singer in the band that’s going to be playing at the wedding, don’t you remember?”
“Oh yes, I remembered,” Janna was busy looking at herself in the mirror and wondering how many female members of the public were undoubtedly jealous of her. “He is in that band with ALC, Salvo and Gabriel. They is very good. My father recommended them.”
Just as she was speaking those words her father, Alen, came in. “My aren’t you looking beautiful, Janna,” he said, “and Katieski you are looking crunchy as well”. Alen had always been a bit of a perv, but with a good heart. Sometimes. “I am sure this is going to be the best wedding I will ever pay for.”
Meanwhile, the groom was busy getting ready in his own rooms.
“Is that what you’re going to wear?” asked Fred, the best man. Fred was notoriously hated by the father of the bride, and thus handpicked by the groom to irritate him. “And will you watch out for me during the reception? I have a feeling Alen might try and embarrass or poison me when no one is looking.”
“It is, and you’ll be fine,” said Badass, adjusting his cravat.
“I can’t wait for this to be over,” said Kyle, adjusting his own suit in front of the mirror. “I want to try and get something going with KatieDi, if you know what I mean.”
Everyone knew what he meant.
Out in the hall people were murmuring and guessing as to what the bride’s dress might look like. Sheik Yerbouti, one of the city’s most prominent reporters, was standing near the back and trying to take notes with his assistant, Trequartista. Treq was hoping to get some good photos, and had heard that the bridal party was pretty easy on the eyes.
Klin, the wedding planner, was standing on the other side of the room with his own assistant, Melo, trying to gauge whether they had bought enough flowers. “You can never have too many roses!” gushed Melo, rearranging a bouquet for the fortieth time.
“Shut up,” said Klin, noticing that the groom and his bunch were taking their places. Those ASOS suits had been his best decision of the whole day. His only worry was the reception. He had hired some “entertainment” in the form of SABSAB, but instead of a comedian it turned out she was a stripper. He would wait for that portion of the evening until everyone was well and truly drunk.
Pretty soon it was time, and the audience stood as the bride made her way down the aisle. Alen was looking smug as he walked behind KatieDi and tried to ignore Janna’s running commentary about Marchisio being a better match than Badass.
Finally they were stood at the altar and, as if to give Alen his cue to hand over his only daughter, the music began to play:
It had been difficult to find a Musical Youth tribute band in the city, but sadly not difficult enough. The vows ended swiftly, everyone was blissfully happy, and they made their way to the reception.
As Janna and Badass sat at the head table, enjoying their champagne and their mutual love, the lights suddenly dimmed. “Oh God, not yet!” shouted Klin, trying to find SABSAB in the mix-up. Before he could, however, the lights came back on, only to display the dead and hideously deformed corpse of Badass Devil, strewn in the arms of his widow.
“What a story!” said Sheik, taking notes as Treq photographed the body.
“Hang on now,” said Kate, emerging from the crowd and looking unbelievably stunning as usual, arm-in-arm with her adoring husband Gigi. “Whoever did this must still be in the room, and I know from being so intelligent that some of the people here today are members of the mafia. Badass was notoriously hated by most, but by the mafia most of all. We have killers amongst us, and any one of us could be next. Except for me, I’m invincible and incredibly wealthy.”
With that, the doors to the reception hall were barred, leaving all of the aforementioned guests alone. “It’s a good thing they hired us,” said Nzoric to LowLife. Nzoric had been hired by the bride to protect her from the mafia, just as LowLife had been hired by the groom to beat up Nzoric. Now it was time to decide who else was going to be beaten up.
Announcements:
The voting window will not open until 10:00CET tomorrow. From then you will have until 22:00CET to make your votes. Tonight is just for getting your parts warmed up (as it were).
No Special Powers may be used until 10:00CET tomorrow. The Jailer may jail someone up until 20:00CET, from which point you're on your own. Any questions, let me know.
The Cast of Characters:
1. Melo
2. Bezzy
3. Klin
4. Sheik
5. ALC
6. TWW
7. Fred
8. Alen
9. Gabriel
10. Nzoric
11. LowLife
12. Kyle
13. Katie
14. Salvo
15. SABSAB
16. Trequartista
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