"Highlights" by Jay Leno (1 Viewer)


Senior Member
Feb 21, 2004
Some of Jay Leno's highlights from last Monday show have been halarious.

"'Many other cows watched in fear and hope, ' said Scott Trethaway, the team's commander.
Take it easy, Bessie -- we'll give him out!"

"What are colleges now? Thirty or forty grand a year? Look at this… Attractive Student Shelters."

"Then it says, 'Times shown in this brochure are incorrectly listed for Saturdays. We apologize for the inconvenience.' When you were printing that, why didn't you just make the correction there?! Why do you put the correction under the wrong information?! It doesn't make any sense!!!"

"'Responding to increasing demand for a toilet that can accommodate larger people, the Great John Toilet Co., designs and manufacturers a line of toilets with oversized seats, four widespread anchorage points…"

"…'and a one ton capacity.' If you need a one ton capacity, you might want to check out your diet, okay?"

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"Top Economist"
Mar 16, 2004
:LOL: Oh man I love Headlines. Some of the greatest stuff ever. I actually have a book of Leno's greatest headlines from a few years back. Its funny as shit. :D
Aug 27, 2003
naaah conan sucks man hes so childish i love jay..
and those jay walks and headlines just crack me up so bad

i remeber in one of the battle of the jay walks

jay: which war started out with a shot gun (something like tha)
jay walker: umm the cold war
Jay: im sorry thats the wrong answer but im pretty sure there wasnt alot of shot guns in the cold wa


Senior Member
Feb 21, 2004
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread Starter #7
    Yeah, to me personally the Tonight Show is the best entertainment I see on television.

    And I don't have time to watch anything else. This is the only show that I watch on a regular basis.

    Hey, today is Monday, so there'll be more highlights :D

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