science fiction
Eat Nonsense*: Juventus Crowned Serie A Champions
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Following a successful court appeal, Juventus FC were this weekend crowned champions Serie A for the 2006-2007 season.
In July 2006, Juventus were stripped of their 2005-06 Serie A title, demoted a division and docked 17 points by a sports tribunal for massive corruption, influencing referees and match-fixing.
However, the 17-point penalty was reduced to nine points after an initial appeal, then again to three points after a second appeal. A third and fourth appeal saw the team having the points penalty reduced to zero and then regaining their Serie A status.
A fifth appeal has seen them regain the title they were stripped of last season, and the latest appeal, last Friday, saw them given a 110 point bonus, by way of apology for all the inconvenience caused.
In addition, the team’s former general manager and the man at the centre of the match-fixing, Luciano Moggi, has been made Pope. He will be consecrated at a special ceremony in Rome “some time before Christmas”, said the Vatican press office.
Pierluigi Pairetto, the former Italian referee nominator who helped Moggi throughout the refereeing arrangements, and had been banned from all football, has been given the Duchy of Corwall.
A spokesman for Prince Charles issued a statement on behalf of the Prince to the effect that he was “disappointed to be losing his lucrative pig-based by-products business, but accepted the decision and the rights of the Italian Court to judge the situation fairly.”
The bonus points awarded mean that Juventus’s position in the league is effectively unassailable, and they were immediately crowned Champions of the Scudetto on Saturday.
Juventus said the latest decision "recognised, at least in part, the enormous commitment and spirit of sacrifice shown by the club," and that it was “a testament to the inherent soundness and impartiality of the Italian legal system”.
However, sources close to the club said that they still felt greatly wronged, and had hoped for more. They will be appealing to UEFA in the near future for compensation for loss of earnings due to their having missed the lucrative Champions League Group Stage this season. The club “fully expect to be given the Champions League title this season by way of a small gesture of regret and apology”, said the spokesman.
By Patrick McCarthy
Eat Nonsense*: Juventus Crowned Serie A Champions
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Following a successful court appeal, Juventus FC were this weekend crowned champions Serie A for the 2006-2007 season.
In July 2006, Juventus were stripped of their 2005-06 Serie A title, demoted a division and docked 17 points by a sports tribunal for massive corruption, influencing referees and match-fixing.
However, the 17-point penalty was reduced to nine points after an initial appeal, then again to three points after a second appeal. A third and fourth appeal saw the team having the points penalty reduced to zero and then regaining their Serie A status.
A fifth appeal has seen them regain the title they were stripped of last season, and the latest appeal, last Friday, saw them given a 110 point bonus, by way of apology for all the inconvenience caused.
In addition, the team’s former general manager and the man at the centre of the match-fixing, Luciano Moggi, has been made Pope. He will be consecrated at a special ceremony in Rome “some time before Christmas”, said the Vatican press office.
Pierluigi Pairetto, the former Italian referee nominator who helped Moggi throughout the refereeing arrangements, and had been banned from all football, has been given the Duchy of Corwall.
A spokesman for Prince Charles issued a statement on behalf of the Prince to the effect that he was “disappointed to be losing his lucrative pig-based by-products business, but accepted the decision and the rights of the Italian Court to judge the situation fairly.”
The bonus points awarded mean that Juventus’s position in the league is effectively unassailable, and they were immediately crowned Champions of the Scudetto on Saturday.
Juventus said the latest decision "recognised, at least in part, the enormous commitment and spirit of sacrifice shown by the club," and that it was “a testament to the inherent soundness and impartiality of the Italian legal system”.
However, sources close to the club said that they still felt greatly wronged, and had hoped for more. They will be appealing to UEFA in the near future for compensation for loss of earnings due to their having missed the lucrative Champions League Group Stage this season. The club “fully expect to be given the Champions League title this season by way of a small gesture of regret and apology”, said the spokesman.
By Patrick McCarthy
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