Amauri "The Immovable Object" Carvalho de Oliveira (28 Viewers)

[Quetzalcoatl]

You have witnessed something special, my friend.

 

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[.zero]

It was at the exhibition match against the Redbulls in NJ. IIRC, we were already trailing by 2 goals with under 15mins to go and DP had already been subbed off.

It was pretty much a meaningless goal in a match that had already been settled. But a goal nonetheless on his career log

 

[Hydde]

I'm gonna miss the lad.

He is not going anywhere.

He will not find a tea to go and will stay with us..... later in the campaign he will earn his starting spot in the team with flairboyant goals and sick assists.

Yes, our boy amauri.

 

[.zero]

He is not going anywhere.

He will not find a tea to go and will stay with us..... later in the campaign he will earn his starting spot in the team with flairboyant goals and sick assists.

Yes, our boy amauri.

Might I ask WTF has he been waiting for?

 

[ALC]

"He holds the ball up well, though"

He almost beats his defenders.

 

[Linebreak]

"Amauri nearly scored"

"He's a hard worker"

Goodbye and good riddance!

 

[.zero]

What about "we almost sold him"

 

[Linebreak]

What about "we almost sold him"

lol - good one.

I'll miss the way his hair always impedes his view when he has the ball

 

[X Æ A-12]

Tottenham would be, they're jews anyway.

doesn't that mean they're cheap?

Feed him to the jews, just paint him gold before the meeting.

"He holds the ball up well, though"

"He is good in the air. We just need to cross better."

I hope he receives better service at his new club then he did in Turin

...Since that was the only thing holding him back

That and his awful hair.

 

[.zero]

ADP to Amauri:

"Ya know Amauri, I liked you so much better when you were just a footballer. You were really great, once. If you wanna be an interior decorator now, that's none of my business. But some of us still need this team. Now you listen to me! This is my last shot at a winner and for some of the younger guys it could be their only shot. I don't know what happened to you. But if you ever, ever tank another play like you did today, I'm gonna cut your nuts off and stuff em down your fuckin' throat!"

 

[X Æ A-12]

It's a shame really that DP ever had to suffer through playing on the same team as this cunt.

 

[.zero]

Yep yep

 

[Klin]

I think he'll fake an injury in the last week of December and the deal will fall off. He'll then move next Summer.

 

[.zero]

Oh that would be the ultimate dick move on his part

 

[Klin]

Oh that would be the ultimate dick move on his part

Don't underestimate his profession.

 

[Hust]

"Jesus, this guy hits a ton, how come no one else picked up on him? "

 

[.zero]

Upon his arrival to London to meet with his new manager:

Harry Redknapp: What the hell league you been playing in?
Amauri: Serie A..
Harry Redknapp: Never heard of it. How'd you end up playing there?
Amauri: Swindled a contract.

 

[Hust]

"Amauri Carvalho de Oliveira. I hit like Amauri, and I run like Janet." - Amauri
"You may run like Amauri, but you kick like shit." - Harry R.

 

[Bianconero_Aus]

Redknapp: We signed Amauri? T'riffic, t'riffic. Umm, who the bloody hell is he, again?

 

[ALC]

His name sounds exotic!