I'm not unfamiliar with this notion of a ''man crush'' my dear Jemmy, I too have one for a Juventus player. One which I am a little too embarrassed to admit to. Thankfully he flies so low under the radar, he may never be sold
Carlitos may be ugly as a burnt bag of garbage, but he'll soon make you forget about that dreamboat Matri with his unrivalled tenacity and eye for goal