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aye but still a beaut

One day young Marco is sitting at the kitchen table and says to his Mother- "Mum, i have the biggest penis in my nursery class is it because i am black?" Marco's mother looks at him sympathetically and says "No Marco, it is because you are 32 and a retard, now stop talking with your mouth...

absolutely brilliant there MC laughed my ass off

controversial news filtering through that the FA have announced that they are changing the emblem on the new England football shirt. no longer will there be 3 lions on the crest but instead 3 tampons, a spokesman for the FA said it was to reflect the worst fucking period in their history

Tom-Tom have recalled all of their Sat-Nav units......... apparantly England cannot be found anywhere in europe

ahhh but i ahve teh power to make it.......................dissapear:eyebrows:

A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No,' he replies, 'Q has just given me this...

that is brilliant

no-one like teh no-more nails joke?thought that was ace:oops: anyway Guy goes to the Council to apply for a job as an electrician. The interviewer says: "Recruitment is done on a points system; have you been in the armed services? " " Yes," he says " I was in the army for three years...

Breaking news!!! Police in Dublin have warned the public to be extra vigilant after dozens of people were found stuck to the ceiling of a train station waiting room. A source from inside the police station said that they believe an irish al-queda cell had set off the first no more-nails-bomb

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while...

The Guys' Rules******************* At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down,We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind...

An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude". With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama...

jack is officially the best mod ever

woamn is involved in a head on collsision and thrown from her car,the doctors give her little or no hope of ever awakening from her coma. after several months of no response one day the nurses are giving her a bed bath, one of the nurses brushes her hand against the ladies pussy and the monitors...

Two Aberdonian farmers, Tam and Shuie, are sitting in the Farmers Bar. Tam turns to Shuie and says, "Ye ken fit? I'm tired o' gan through life withoot an education. I'morn, I think I'll ging doon to the community college and sign up fior some classes." Shuie thinks it's a good idea, and...

Two Priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc...

TOP FOUR ADULT JOKES Number 4 A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll...