Stepping out of the shower, she wrap a towel around her wet hair, letting her skin air dry just a little. Reaching for the lotion, she moisturized her body and then warmed herself with a comfortable, soft bath sheet. Realizing she left her hairbrush on the dresser, she pad quietly into the bedroom to get it, towel-drying her hair on the way. Expecting Badass to still be sound asleep, she’s surprised to see him stretching as she walked into the room.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he smiled. God how she loved that husky tone to his voice when he first wakes up. “Good morning, baby” she replies, as she hangs the towel. Dropping the bath sheet, she pulled back the blankets and slip into the spot she left only a few minutes earlier - the joy of a quiet Sunday morning.
His arm reaches out to her, encouraging her closer, running his hand up and down her back and then, reaching down to her ass, he grasped firmly and pulled her body tight to his. His hard cock pressed into her thigh, she fees him rock his hips gently and she shivers. “Cold?” he asks, with a smart-assed grin. She whispers “Not any more,” as she wraps one arm behind his neck and lean in to kiss his cheek. Two more gentle kisses and then she ran her tongue lightly along his ear. She flicks it inside and then sucks his earlobe between her lips. She stops to whisper, “Baby… make love to me…” Kissing and licking down his neck, she feels his hands roam her body and she leans her head back as they cup and squeeze her breasts. Eyes closed, her skin tingles to his touch… and as her nipples harden, she hears him moan softly and lean in to run his tongue over one, then the other. Sucking and coaxing one nipple until it’s so hard, he raises up and guides her gently onto her back. Running a hand up her thigh, he parts her legs and his hand cups her freshly-shaven pussy. He leans down and kisses her, softly at first, and then deeper as his tongue caresses her.
Feeling the weight of his hand between her legs drives her crazy. Running her fingers through his hair and kissing him hard, she spreads her legs wider and tilts her hips. He breaks the kiss, his eyes dark and meeting hers. He ran his flattened fingers up and down her smooth pussy lips a few times and tells her “I want you too baby…“ His middle finger parts her lips… “god you’re wet…” and he rubs up and down against her clit. Her eyes never leaving his, she moans softly as he slides first one, then two fingers deep inside her. Gripping his fingers tight, she feels him slide them out and up to her clit then back deep inside… over and over he fucks her, with the firm and constant pressure of his hand. He bends down and takes one nipple into his mouth again and sucks it hard. His fingers have her pussy dripping wet as he wraps one leg over hers. She feels his rock hard cock against her thigh again, this time wet with precum, sliding against her skin. Her pussy squeezes and releases against his fingers, her clit so sensitive to his touch… She reaches down and lays her hand on his cock, keeping it pressed against his thigh as he moves.
“Ohhhh god baby…” he moans softly, as he releases her nipple from his lips. He raises his hips slightly and she wraps her hand fully around his cock, shivering as she feels it, so thick and warm. His precum wets her palm and he grinds easily in her grasp, his fingers still teasing her pussy. He tenderly kisses her and starts pushing her head down his body. She obeys. Softly kissing his nipples, his stomach, she reaches his hard pride.
GOD DAMMIT JANNA. Don’t bite it!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
In terrible pain, Badass was about to hit Janna when he realized that there is noone there.
"Oh, no, I was dreaming again" - he said - "I'm yet to do it with Janna."
Regretting that he didn't try anything in Harleem, he felt like crying that everything he experienced in the last minutes was just another dream. When he was about to put his head on the pillow again, he realized that he still feels the pain from Janna's bit. "But how? It was just a dream" - he whispered. As he put his hand down his body, he was shocked to feel that his little dick wasn't there anymore. He threw off the blanket and for a couple of seconds he couldn't do anything else but stare at the pipe coming out from the place where his pride was, sucking all his blood, leading into a small bottle under the bed.
When he was about to scream the loudest he can, a pair of sharp fangs penetrated his neck.
After a minute, Badass was no more.
The vampire carefully squeezed all the blood from Badass' body and filled 4 whole bottles with it. He opened the window and flew out, leaving the corps in the dark room. The city was sleeping. After 20 minutes the murderer landed near an old abandoned house, opened the west side window and entered a dark room. Everything was as he left it. 22 coffins in the room. His friends were sleeping. He opened the fridge and placed the 4 bottles there. "It always used to be full", he moaned, looking at the almost empty refrigerator.
As the first shreds of light were coming from the east, he opened his coffin and jumped inside.
He was woken up by the annoying voice of Mata Hari. She and JacKlin were arguing over something.
"It was my boyfriend his blood. Why did you drink it pervert?"
" Boyfriend's , boyfriend's, boyfriend's, not boyfriend his, you illiterate bitch!"
The blood wasn't there.
The doors were locked from the inside. He closed the window from the inside. Nobody could enter that room. It was clear that someone or more than one vampire drank the blood while the others were sleeping.
Lets see who it was.
22 suspects. As a narrator I know that 5 of them stole the blood and they still keep some for a 6th vampire who will join them later.
The innocent vampires will have to find the 5 robbers.
I present you the 22 inhabitants of the 22 coffins in the room:
Nomen: Gay Frederickus Scared of Dickus But Loves It In His Anus Caesar
Natus: 13 Iulii 100 a.C.n. Romae
Vampiricus: 15 Martii 44 a.C.n.
He conquered the Gauls and had sex with all their men. His most famous quote is: Veni, Vidi and felt really giddy when I saw all those nude barbarians.
-----------------------------------
Name: Dr. Sabet Mengele
Born: April 28, 1911, Günzburg, Kingdom of Bavaria
Vampire since: February 7, 1979 (aged 67)
Sabet Rudolf Mengele (German pronunciation: [ˈsabɛt ˈʁuːdɔlf ˈmɛŋɡələ], also known as the Angel of Death (German: Todesengel) was a German SS officer and a physician in the Nazi concentration camp Auschwitz. She earned doctorates in anthropology from Munich University and in medicine from Frankfurt University. She initially gained notoriety for being one of the SS physicians who supervised the selection of arriving transports of prisoners, determining who was to be killed and who was to become a forced laborer, but is far more infamous for performing grisly human experiments on camp inmates, including children, for which Mengele was called the "Angel of Death."
She survived the war, and after a period living incognito in Germany she fled to South America, where she evaded capture for the rest of her life despite being hunted as a Nazi war criminal.
She is particularly known for her experiments on twins so Claudio and his twin brother should be particularly careful when dealing with her.
-----------------------------------
Name: Sheik Incitatus of Rome
Born: 34 AD
Vampire Since: 40 AD
Sheik Incitatus of Rome was a Roman consul.
He was the favored horse of Roman emperor Caligula.
-----------------------------------
Name: JacKlin Kennedy Onasis
Born: July 28, 1929 in Southampton, New York, USA
Vampire since: May 19, 1994 (aged 64)
The first lady of the USA.
The whore that he is, Klin fucked some rich Greek after his husband was killed. Real blood sucker. Watch out for him.
-----------------------------------
Name: Hoori Ninja
Born: circa 555.
Vampire since: She was always a blood sucker but she officially became a vampire in 619 CE.
Hoori Ninja (Persian:نینجا حوری
was the first wife of the Islamic prophet Muhammad and ninja in her free time. She specialized in unorthodox arts of war. Her functions included espionage, sabotage, infiltration, and assassination, as well as open combat in certain situations.
-----------------------------------
Name: Janna Mata Hari
Born: August 7, 1876 in Leeuwarden, Friesland, Netherlands
Vampire Since: October 15, 1917
Janna Van der Badass Devil His Wife (stage name: Mata Hari), was a Dutch exotic dancer, courtesan and accused spy who was executed by firing squad in France under charges of espionage for Germany during World War I. She was the author of the first 12 volumes of the Oxford English Dictionary (OED).
-----------------------------------
Name: Kate the Maid
Born: 1774
Vampire Since : 1800
She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
A maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love.
A violet by a mossy stone
Half-hidden from the eye!
Fair, as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky!
She lived unknown, and few could know
When Kate ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, Oh!
The difference to me.
................................Gianfranco Buffon
If Buffon's great great great grandfather knew that Kate the maid was a vampire when he wrote her the poem, we'd have been robbed of such a nice poetry.
Kate is the local vampire maid now and she's cleaning the coffins of the other vampires. She usually gets up first, so could she be the one who drank Badass Devil's blood?
-----------------------------------
Name: Kylie Minogue
Born: May 28, 1968 in Sidney, Australia
Vampire since: Since this picture was taken:
Kyle's, I mean Kylie's, qualities are her voice, her white teeth and her incredible geography knowledge.
-----------------------------------
Name: Uncle Tom Osmanovski
Born: 1803, Kentucky
Vampire Since: 1868
Osmanovski was patient, noble, unselfish black slave with a very big dick. It was a real feast when the vampires started sucking the blood from his famous tool.
-----------------------------------
Name: Lady Jasper Godiva
Born: 11th century
Vampire Since: 11th century
Jasper Godiva (Old English: Godgifu, "god gift"), often referred to as Lady Godiva, was an 11th century Anglo-Saxon noblewoman who, according to legend, rode naked through the streets of Coventry in order to gain a remission of the oppressive taxation imposed by her husband on his tenants.
Jasper Godiva was deeply religious.
-----------------------------------
Name: Caterina de' Medici
Born: 13 April 1519 in Firenze
Vampire Since: 5 January 1589
Caterina was a Franco/Italian noblewoman who was Queen consort of France from 1547 until 1559, as the wife of King Henry II of France. She came to be blamed for the excessive persecutions carried out under her sons' rule, in particular for the St. Bartholomew's Day massacre of 1572, in which thousands of Huguenots were killed in Paris and throughout France.
She was like reallyyyy meanski when alive and even more meanski as a vampire. Watch out for her.
Name: Mother LowLife
Born: August 26, 1910 in Skopje, then in the Ottoman Empire.
Vampire since: September 5, 1997
His family was of Albanian descent. At the age of twelve, he felt strongly the call of God. He knew he had to be a missionary to spread the love of Christ. At the age of eighteen he left his parental home and joined the Sisters of Loreto, an Irish community of nuns with missions in India. After a few months' training in Dublin he was sent to India, where on May 24, 1931, he took his initial vows as a nun.
His most famous quotes are:
- Even the Serbs are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own. But it is their problem so kill them all.
- Each one of the Serbs is Jesus in disguise. Kill them all.
- I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor? If he's a Serb, kill him.
- I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God. Unless he's a Serb. Then I shoot him.
-----------------------------------
Names: Mattman and Rabin
Born: 1930's
Vampires since: 1960's
You didn’t really think that not all bats are vampires, did you? They are.
Mattman is Rabin's Del Piero. Rabin will do everything for him.
Caterina de' Medici and JacKlin need to start worrying.
----------------------------------------
In complete lack of ideas I give you the last 8 vampires
Names: Snow Brown and the 7 dwarfs (Deneb, Gabriel, Claudio, Nzoric, Salvo, ALC and DVS)
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he smiled. God how she loved that husky tone to his voice when he first wakes up. “Good morning, baby” she replies, as she hangs the towel. Dropping the bath sheet, she pulled back the blankets and slip into the spot she left only a few minutes earlier - the joy of a quiet Sunday morning.
His arm reaches out to her, encouraging her closer, running his hand up and down her back and then, reaching down to her ass, he grasped firmly and pulled her body tight to his. His hard cock pressed into her thigh, she fees him rock his hips gently and she shivers. “Cold?” he asks, with a smart-assed grin. She whispers “Not any more,” as she wraps one arm behind his neck and lean in to kiss his cheek. Two more gentle kisses and then she ran her tongue lightly along his ear. She flicks it inside and then sucks his earlobe between her lips. She stops to whisper, “Baby… make love to me…” Kissing and licking down his neck, she feels his hands roam her body and she leans her head back as they cup and squeeze her breasts. Eyes closed, her skin tingles to his touch… and as her nipples harden, she hears him moan softly and lean in to run his tongue over one, then the other. Sucking and coaxing one nipple until it’s so hard, he raises up and guides her gently onto her back. Running a hand up her thigh, he parts her legs and his hand cups her freshly-shaven pussy. He leans down and kisses her, softly at first, and then deeper as his tongue caresses her.
Feeling the weight of his hand between her legs drives her crazy. Running her fingers through his hair and kissing him hard, she spreads her legs wider and tilts her hips. He breaks the kiss, his eyes dark and meeting hers. He ran his flattened fingers up and down her smooth pussy lips a few times and tells her “I want you too baby…“ His middle finger parts her lips… “god you’re wet…” and he rubs up and down against her clit. Her eyes never leaving his, she moans softly as he slides first one, then two fingers deep inside her. Gripping his fingers tight, she feels him slide them out and up to her clit then back deep inside… over and over he fucks her, with the firm and constant pressure of his hand. He bends down and takes one nipple into his mouth again and sucks it hard. His fingers have her pussy dripping wet as he wraps one leg over hers. She feels his rock hard cock against her thigh again, this time wet with precum, sliding against her skin. Her pussy squeezes and releases against his fingers, her clit so sensitive to his touch… She reaches down and lays her hand on his cock, keeping it pressed against his thigh as he moves.
“Ohhhh god baby…” he moans softly, as he releases her nipple from his lips. He raises his hips slightly and she wraps her hand fully around his cock, shivering as she feels it, so thick and warm. His precum wets her palm and he grinds easily in her grasp, his fingers still teasing her pussy. He tenderly kisses her and starts pushing her head down his body. She obeys. Softly kissing his nipples, his stomach, she reaches his hard pride.
GOD DAMMIT JANNA. Don’t bite it!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
In terrible pain, Badass was about to hit Janna when he realized that there is noone there.
"Oh, no, I was dreaming again" - he said - "I'm yet to do it with Janna."
Regretting that he didn't try anything in Harleem, he felt like crying that everything he experienced in the last minutes was just another dream. When he was about to put his head on the pillow again, he realized that he still feels the pain from Janna's bit. "But how? It was just a dream" - he whispered. As he put his hand down his body, he was shocked to feel that his little dick wasn't there anymore. He threw off the blanket and for a couple of seconds he couldn't do anything else but stare at the pipe coming out from the place where his pride was, sucking all his blood, leading into a small bottle under the bed.
When he was about to scream the loudest he can, a pair of sharp fangs penetrated his neck.
After a minute, Badass was no more.
The vampire carefully squeezed all the blood from Badass' body and filled 4 whole bottles with it. He opened the window and flew out, leaving the corps in the dark room. The city was sleeping. After 20 minutes the murderer landed near an old abandoned house, opened the west side window and entered a dark room. Everything was as he left it. 22 coffins in the room. His friends were sleeping. He opened the fridge and placed the 4 bottles there. "It always used to be full", he moaned, looking at the almost empty refrigerator.
As the first shreds of light were coming from the east, he opened his coffin and jumped inside.
He was woken up by the annoying voice of Mata Hari. She and JacKlin were arguing over something.
"It was my boyfriend his blood. Why did you drink it pervert?"
" Boyfriend's , boyfriend's, boyfriend's, not boyfriend his, you illiterate bitch!"
The blood wasn't there.
The doors were locked from the inside. He closed the window from the inside. Nobody could enter that room. It was clear that someone or more than one vampire drank the blood while the others were sleeping.
Lets see who it was.
22 suspects. As a narrator I know that 5 of them stole the blood and they still keep some for a 6th vampire who will join them later.
The innocent vampires will have to find the 5 robbers.
I present you the 22 inhabitants of the 22 coffins in the room:
Nomen: Gay Frederickus Scared of Dickus But Loves It In His Anus Caesar
Natus: 13 Iulii 100 a.C.n. Romae
Vampiricus: 15 Martii 44 a.C.n.
He conquered the Gauls and had sex with all their men. His most famous quote is: Veni, Vidi and felt really giddy when I saw all those nude barbarians.
-----------------------------------
Name: Dr. Sabet Mengele
Born: April 28, 1911, Günzburg, Kingdom of Bavaria
Vampire since: February 7, 1979 (aged 67)
Sabet Rudolf Mengele (German pronunciation: [ˈsabɛt ˈʁuːdɔlf ˈmɛŋɡələ], also known as the Angel of Death (German: Todesengel) was a German SS officer and a physician in the Nazi concentration camp Auschwitz. She earned doctorates in anthropology from Munich University and in medicine from Frankfurt University. She initially gained notoriety for being one of the SS physicians who supervised the selection of arriving transports of prisoners, determining who was to be killed and who was to become a forced laborer, but is far more infamous for performing grisly human experiments on camp inmates, including children, for which Mengele was called the "Angel of Death."
She survived the war, and after a period living incognito in Germany she fled to South America, where she evaded capture for the rest of her life despite being hunted as a Nazi war criminal.
She is particularly known for her experiments on twins so Claudio and his twin brother should be particularly careful when dealing with her.
-----------------------------------
Name: Sheik Incitatus of Rome
Born: 34 AD
Vampire Since: 40 AD
Sheik Incitatus of Rome was a Roman consul.
He was the favored horse of Roman emperor Caligula.
-----------------------------------
Name: JacKlin Kennedy Onasis
Born: July 28, 1929 in Southampton, New York, USA
Vampire since: May 19, 1994 (aged 64)
The first lady of the USA.
The whore that he is, Klin fucked some rich Greek after his husband was killed. Real blood sucker. Watch out for him.
-----------------------------------
Name: Hoori Ninja
Born: circa 555.
Vampire since: She was always a blood sucker but she officially became a vampire in 619 CE.
Hoori Ninja (Persian:نینجا حوری
was the first wife of the Islamic prophet Muhammad and ninja in her free time. She specialized in unorthodox arts of war. Her functions included espionage, sabotage, infiltration, and assassination, as well as open combat in certain situations.-----------------------------------
Name: Janna Mata Hari
Born: August 7, 1876 in Leeuwarden, Friesland, Netherlands
Vampire Since: October 15, 1917
Janna Van der Badass Devil His Wife (stage name: Mata Hari), was a Dutch exotic dancer, courtesan and accused spy who was executed by firing squad in France under charges of espionage for Germany during World War I. She was the author of the first 12 volumes of the Oxford English Dictionary (OED).
-----------------------------------
Name: Kate the Maid
Born: 1774
Vampire Since : 1800
She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
A maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love.
A violet by a mossy stone
Half-hidden from the eye!
Fair, as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky!
She lived unknown, and few could know
When Kate ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, Oh!
The difference to me.
................................Gianfranco Buffon
If Buffon's great great great grandfather knew that Kate the maid was a vampire when he wrote her the poem, we'd have been robbed of such a nice poetry.
Kate is the local vampire maid now and she's cleaning the coffins of the other vampires. She usually gets up first, so could she be the one who drank Badass Devil's blood?
-----------------------------------
Name: Kylie Minogue
Born: May 28, 1968 in Sidney, Australia
Vampire since: Since this picture was taken:
Kyle's, I mean Kylie's, qualities are her voice, her white teeth and her incredible geography knowledge.
-----------------------------------
Name: Uncle Tom Osmanovski
Born: 1803, Kentucky
Vampire Since: 1868
Osmanovski was patient, noble, unselfish black slave with a very big dick. It was a real feast when the vampires started sucking the blood from his famous tool.
-----------------------------------
Name: Lady Jasper Godiva
Born: 11th century
Vampire Since: 11th century
Jasper Godiva (Old English: Godgifu, "god gift"), often referred to as Lady Godiva, was an 11th century Anglo-Saxon noblewoman who, according to legend, rode naked through the streets of Coventry in order to gain a remission of the oppressive taxation imposed by her husband on his tenants.
Jasper Godiva was deeply religious.
-----------------------------------
Name: Caterina de' Medici
Born: 13 April 1519 in Firenze
Vampire Since: 5 January 1589
Caterina was a Franco/Italian noblewoman who was Queen consort of France from 1547 until 1559, as the wife of King Henry II of France. She came to be blamed for the excessive persecutions carried out under her sons' rule, in particular for the St. Bartholomew's Day massacre of 1572, in which thousands of Huguenots were killed in Paris and throughout France.
She was like reallyyyy meanski when alive and even more meanski as a vampire. Watch out for her.
Name: Mother LowLife
Born: August 26, 1910 in Skopje, then in the Ottoman Empire.
Vampire since: September 5, 1997
His family was of Albanian descent. At the age of twelve, he felt strongly the call of God. He knew he had to be a missionary to spread the love of Christ. At the age of eighteen he left his parental home and joined the Sisters of Loreto, an Irish community of nuns with missions in India. After a few months' training in Dublin he was sent to India, where on May 24, 1931, he took his initial vows as a nun.
His most famous quotes are:
- Even the Serbs are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own. But it is their problem so kill them all.
- Each one of the Serbs is Jesus in disguise. Kill them all.
- I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor? If he's a Serb, kill him.
- I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God. Unless he's a Serb. Then I shoot him.
-----------------------------------
Names: Mattman and Rabin
Born: 1930's
Vampires since: 1960's
You didn’t really think that not all bats are vampires, did you? They are.
Mattman is Rabin's Del Piero. Rabin will do everything for him.
Caterina de' Medici and JacKlin need to start worrying.
----------------------------------------
In complete lack of ideas I give you the last 8 vampires
Names: Snow Brown and the 7 dwarfs (Deneb, Gabriel, Claudio, Nzoric, Salvo, ALC and DVS)
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