Mafia 2020.2 || The FANATIC
My roommate, Völler is a fishing fanatic. Half of the apartment filled with fucking fishing rods, it’s the worst. About once a month somebody steps into a hook or an anchor that's lying on the floor and it needs to be removed at the hospital because that shit is spiky at the edges. I've already had 10 such surgical interventions in my life. Last week I went for some random check-up, and the receptionist, campionesidd told me right away to take my shoe off xD because he thought that I had a hook stuck in my foot once again.
The other half of the apartment is fucking stuffed with The Fisherman, Fishing World, Super Carp, The Amazing Dolfins etc. Every week Völler takes a spin around town to collect all the fishing magazines, he also has his one favourite spot, a little kiosk where a guy named Osman works. Poor guy starts to have dementia and V has no compunctions to game him. He tells him every time that he's missing 2 euros and if he can pay back in a week and Osman obviously agrees and forgets. I was stupid enough to introduce Volly to the Internet, because I thought that he would save a bit of money on the newspapers. But now, not only does he still buy them, but he also sits on some online forums for fishers and starts shitstorms with other fishers about the best baits etc. He sometimes shouts at the monitor, and he's even thrown the fucking keyboard out the window. Once he really pissed me off, so I created an account there and trolled him. I commented some random shit under his posts, such as "dolphins eat shiet". Our other flatmate, Klin could barely catch up with cooking up potatoes stew to soothe him. Oh yea, he already has a "CATFISH" rank on the forum, for having over 22K fucking posts.
When it's warm, he goes fishing every weekend. For the last 5 years, I've been eating fish for dinner every Sunday, and he always repeats some bullshit theories about eating this water trash. When I got accepted to Masters, he would not shut up for a whole fucking week that it's due to the fact that I eat a lot of fish, since they contain phosphorus and my brain functions better.
Every Saturday, he and his buddy IliveForJuve wake the rest of us up at 4 o’clock in the morning. They make a lot of noise packing up their rods, making sandwiches etc.
During meals he always talks about God-damn fish, and the conversations always trails off to the Fishing Association. Völler gets himself really angry and always gets butthurt "durr they don't replenish the lakes enough those fucking thieves hurr," he gets all red while saying that and walks away from the table cursing, and goes away to read the Great Encyclopedia of River Fish in order to calm down.
This year he got himself an inflatable dinghy for Christmas. Of course he couldn't wait until the 25th; he unpacked it last night and pumped it up in our living room. He put on his entire fishing outfit and sat in the dinghy for the rest of the night, right in the middle of our apartment. He had dinner (carp) in it too.
If they gave me access to all the fish, I'd fucking kill them all.
On one of my birthdays, he took me fishing as an exception together with one of his friends, Fr3sh. Great fucking gift, bitch. We drove off way out of the fucking town. We're walking to the lake, and his eyes are already lighting up, and he's licking his lips all excited. He set up all of his equipment, we're sitting at the water and staring at the bobbers. After 5 minutes I got bored, so I turned on my discman. Völler slapped me across the fucking head with his rod and said that the fish hear music coming out of my headphones, get scared and leave. Whenever I wanted to scratch my ass, he would "scream-whisper" at me not to fidget, because I'm causing a rustle, the fish see me move and swim away. I had to sit there motionless for 6 hours, as if I were at fucking Guantanamo, and stare at the water. I looked at Fr3sh but he was like a fucking stone statue. No movement at all. Basically stoned to death. My birthday is in November, so it was also cold as fuck. At one point, Völler got up, walked away several feet into the woods, and ripped a fart. He explained to me that he had to do it in the woods because the fish can hear and smell it.
I once mentioned that Völler has a buddy, ILFJ, and that they go fishing together. Back in the days, his fishing mate was hehe GordoDeCentral. A ball-shaped individual with a moustache, dressed in a fishing vest 365 days a year. He and Völler were almost like brothers, him and his wife king Ale would come over our house on Christmas etc. Once, on Völler’s birthday, GordoDeCentral came over for some hehe vodka. They got wasted as fuck and, of course, they wouldn't stop talking about fishing. I was sitting in my room. All of a sudden they started yelling at each other about what is generally better: pike or catfish.
>"DON'T YOU FUCKING PISS ME OFF GORDO, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A PIKE'S TEETH? OM NOM NOM AND YOUR FUCKING ARM IS GONE"
>"HOLY SHIT VOLLER, CATFISH WEIGH 80 KG, YOUR PIKES CAN FUCKING SUCK THEM OFF"
>"YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT FUCKING CATFISH MEANWHILE YOU CAN BARELY PULL A FUCKING BLEAK OUT OF THE WATER. A PIKE IS THE KING OF WATER, LIKE A LION IS THE KING OF THE JUNGLE."
And they started fucking wrestling on the living room carpet, and Klin and I had to separate them. They've completely stopped talking ever since. Last year Gordo's wife called to tell us that Gordo had an accident, he’s paralyzed and all he can do is moderating some forum where they gave him mod powers out of pity. Klin picked up, gave her our condolences, put the phone down and told Völler. And V said: "Very fucking well" and smiled slowly. That's how much he hated him for that catfish.
I have also mentioned Völler’s archenemy, the Fishing Association. He became completely obsessed with it, for example when TV presenter kappa96 is talking about an earthquake somewhere, he starts mumbling under his breath that instead they should talk about those motherfuckers from the FA. He also stopped reading non-fishing newspapers because he got butthurt that they aren’t talking about the FA and their scandals.
The chairman of our local FA office is a guy called Alen. To Völler he’s the incarnation of all the evil that has been inflicted upon all the reservoirs by the Association, and Völler waged a war against him for many years. Once he went to some fishing meeting where Alen was giving a talk and came back home with a ripped-up shirt because FA’s bodyguard Kyle removed him from the room by force, that’s how apeshit he went.
After being physically defeated by the FA, Völler began a partisan struggle over the Internet, which included badmouthing the Association and Alen himself on local newspapers’ discussion groups. He was saying some bullshit about Alen being a member of the Communist Security Bureau, that he had seen him in the street vandalizing somebody’s car with a nail or that he once took a shit in the water park etc. I had not taught Völler into TOR, so he got busted by the cops and had to pay Alen a EUR 2000 reparation for slander. Even contacting a very renowned lawyer, Quetzalcoatl for the appeal did not help because Völler didn’t read the rules carefully and missed the deadline. xD
It was impossible to survive at our flat for an entire week, Völler was bitching about the corrupt court system, the FA, Alen, and the whole world in general. According to his bullshit theories, the FA ran the entire country as if they were the Masonic Order, it pulled the strings everywhere and everybody had their back. He was also converting the 2000 into rods, fishhooks and dinghies, and he kept getting butthurt about how much vanilla bait he could get with that (a few hundred kilos).
Sometime last year he came to a conclusion that he really has to have a fishing boat because renting one out is too expensive and everybody is trying to cheat him out.
>“piotrr, you catch really big ones out in the water! That’s what it’s about!”
But he couldn’t afford it and he had nowhere to keep it and he’s not a hehe loser who would pay for storage space. So he made a deal with fishers from the area, Ronn and Snobist that they will split the costs and buy a boat, it’ll be staying at some guy’s, radekas who has a house with dozens of cats and not an apartment like us, on a trailer at a driveway, and they’ll be sharing the boat or they’ll be going fishing together.
At first the cooperative was going well, but one weekend Völler got sick and couldn’t go with them and he got extremely butthurt. Those buddies of his were calling to say that the fish are getting baited like craaazy, so he was just lying on the couch, all angry, red and wheezing. What made the situation worse was that he had nobody to blame for this situation, which is what he would always do. Finally he came to a conclusion that it isn’t fair that they are fishing without him because everybody paid an equal share of the boat’s price, and on Sunday night, when those guys had returned from their trip, he suddenly left the house.
He came back after an hour and said that I have to help him with something in front of the flat. I went outside and I saw his car and, attached to it, the trailer with the boat on top xD I ask him where he got it, and he said that he fucking stole it from some guy’s house because they cheated him out, and he told me to grab the boat because we’ll carry it into our apartment XD It was no use to explain that it’ll take up the entire living room. Fortunately the boat didn’t fit into the building’s door so Völler decided that he’ll leave it in front of the building.
Using some chains that we had found on the boat and my bicycle lock he chained it to the lamp post and wanted to go home all happy, but then he saw 2 cars full of fisher co-owners with friends, who had figured out where their property could be xD It all turned into a huge mess, Ronn and Snobist were yelling why did he take the boat and that he has to return it, and Völler was screaming that they cheated him out and that he chipped in EUR 500 yet he didn’t go fishing this week. I was trying to calm the situation down so that he doesn’t get beat the fuck up, because that was close. After several minutes, the situation looked like this:
- Völler is lying on the floor, tightly embracing the boat and screaming that he won’t give it back;
-The fishers are screaming at him to give it back;
-One of them, ALC has gotten his nose broken because he had grabbed Völler’s leg in an attempt to pull him away from the boat and got kicked with the other leg;
-Two police officers, Mr Chocolate and Tomice are pulling Völler’s legs and saying that they have to take him to the station because he’s injured someone;
-The neighbors all around are looking out their windows;
-Klin is crying and begging Völler to let go of the boat and the officers not to arrest him;
-Me sadfrog.jpg
Finally, Mr Chocolate and Tomice pulled him away from the boat. I gave the fishers the code to my lock and they took the boat, beforehand throwing him 500 euro and saying that he has no more rights to the boat and that it would be better for him if he doesn’t run into them while fishing. Klin implored the officers not to arrest Völler. ALC, who received a kick in the face said that he doesn’t want to go to the fucking police station and he doesn’t give a shit, and he doesn’t want to see Völler ever again.
Völler still starts shitstorms on fishing forums, because they had opened a new special thread in which they warned people from making any deals with him. I was observing the thread and saw that he had created obviously fake accounts
“Siamak”
“Number of posts: 1”
“This thread has been created by some idiots! I have known user “Völler” for a while and he’s a very trustworthy person and a great fisher! I am rarely spot on, but it’s obvious they want to destroy his reputation because they’re jealous of the fish he’s caught!”
Later on he used those accounts to harass his former boat co-owners. Whenever one of them would create a new thread, Völler would fucking go and say that, for example, he catches shitty fish and it’s easy to tell that he sucks at fishing xD
Using these fake accounts he would comment on his own threads, and when he would post pictures of the fish he had caught, he’d write to himself “Ohhh, congratulations! I can tell you’re an experienced fisher!” And he’d celebrate and later show it to us to see how they’re praising him on the forum.
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Anyway, enough of this short introduction. If you are reading this it means I was kidnapped! I couldn't get a close look but I’m sure several persons were involved. Help me find the Gs!
- - - Updated - - -
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The story was created before the draw and has no bearing on anyone's role.
The story was created before the draw and has no bearing on anyone's role.
The Rules
We have 18 players. There are 15 Cs (including the Detective, Jailer, Lawyer and Bodyguard) and 3 Gs (including the Crooked Cop and the Recruiter), but have in mind that Gangsters are able to recruit someone over the course of the game.
The Daytime will run from 11:00-20:00 CET. The first Daytime will begin tomorrow, at 11:00.
During the Daytime, you should all be posting and trying to figure out who to lynch that day (i.e. try and find the gangsters). To vote for someone to lynch, please put their name in Bold. Only bolded votes cast between 11:00- 20:00 will count.
ATTENTION: 19:59:59 is the last timestamp for the vote to count, votes dated 20:00 won't count.
The Daytime is also when the Gangsters will send me their whack. You should decide amongst yourselves who you would like to whack, and PM me a name before the end of the day.
The Jailer can jail someone at any point between 11:00 and 17:00.
The Nighttime is for the special roles (Detective, Crooked Cop) to get their information. The Detective can ask me about someone during the Daytime, but they will not receive a response until the Nighttime.
NO POST EDITING. If I see that someone has edited a post with their vote, it won't count.
NOTE: The special roles cannot use their powers until voting begins tomorrow.
NOTE2: If, starting from tomorrow, you forget to post less than five times a day twice, you'll be autolynched.
ANOTHER NOTE: If you have not received your role or if you have any technical questions, do not say so in the thread. PM me instead.
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The players:
1. campionesidd
2. kappa96
3. Kyle
4. Alen - Civilian - lynched Day2
5. ALC - the Jailer - lynched Day3
6. Voller - Civilian - whacked Day1
7. king Ale
8. Tomice - the Lawyer - whacked Day3
9. Quetz - protected by the Bodyguard Day4
10. GordoDeCentral
11. Klin - Civilian - whacked Day2
12. radekas
13. Ronn - Gangster / the Recruiter - lynched Day4
14. Snobist
15. Fr3sh
16. Mr Chocolate - saved by the Lawyer Day1
17. Osman - replaced by Alen Day4
18. ILFJ
Buy on AliExpress.com
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That alone deserves a lynching.
