Piazon's Juventus Adventure.
I just talked to Lucas on the phone.
Me: "Lucas, welcome to Juve, I hope you do great."
Lucas: "About that.."
M: What
L: I saw something..... that.... scared me
M: Whatchu talkin bout Lucas?
L: Carvalho took me to his house and he showed me around and was very kind.
M: So what's the problem?
L: (Gasps) After he showed me his huge ..... Gel collection, and Britney Spears CD's, he showed me to his room and started to...
M:What? Started to What, Lucas?
L: I can't say
M I promise I'll never tell anyone.
L: I don't believe you.
M: Lucas, come on man, it's not like I'm going to go post our conversation on the internet!
L: I suppose that would be silly.
M: So tell me... What happened?
L: He reached over to me and held my.. hand.
M:And..
L: Look, this is a bad idea.
M: No, I said I promise I won;t tell anyone. Continue.
L: He..He.. He.. reached over and held my hand and then.
M: Oh shit. What did he do?
L: He pulled me towards him and whispered something into my ear. It sounded wrong, but I didn't understand what he meant.
M: What did he say?
(Long Pause followed by incessant sobbing)
L: He..
M: He What? What did he do? For the love of God, Lucas! Please tell me already.
To be continued.
L: He told me to close my eyes, so I did.
M: And?
L: He told me to look at his bed, and then I didn't understand.
M: What didn't you understand?
L: There were two square packets; one was red, and the other was green and then he told me to pick. I didn't know what to do, they both had the word "Durex" printed on them but I've never heard of that company in my life.
M: I see; so which one did you pick?
L: Well, since red is a Milan color; I picked the green one.
M: Good choice, Lucas.
L: Then I looked at Amauri and he had a big smile on his face.
M: I can imagine.
L: I was very confused, I didn't know what was going on. But then he asked me to remove my shirt. So I did.
M: (silent)
L: Then he told me to remove my pants, but I was hesitant.
M: Oh, thank God.
L: But then he got really angry with me and started cursing, after a bit he got more patient. Then he tried to explain to me that my Juventus career will depend on this moment.
M: So you did take off your pants?
L: Yes, and I have them to him, and then I saw that smile again. That damn smile.
(Sobbing)
To be Continued.