I've posted this before... but it allways brings a smile
World Cup Soccer Football Round-up with Frankie Truman, The Voice of American Soccer Football
Hello from South Korea, land of the rising sun!
I'm Frankie Truman, and this is your exclusive urbanreflex.com round-up of the
opening stages of the World Soccer Cup competition of 2002!
Well, the first round of the competition is over and what a thrilling two weeks of
soccer football action it's been! The best teams in the world have come together to
put on a dazzling display of stunning soccer skills.
The undoubted highlight of the tournament so far has to be USA v. Poland. This
game was electrifying, with both teams kicking the ball almost constantly.
The USA dominated the team from the Communist state, scoring headed pass
after headed pass. It was only by pure chance that Poland managed to score three
goal-strikes against us. But it didn't matter in the end: USA qualify on points!
Go Team USA!
The Polish side were understandably frustrated at winning a game 3-zero yet
still being eliminated from the competition. But you know what Frankie Truman
says to that? 'Go tell it to Stalin, you pinkos! That's a taste of democracy for ya!'
Elsewhere in the first round, Great Britain, the 'Queen' of world soccer, faced
off their old adversaries The People's Republic of Argentinia. I hate to say this to
my British readers, but boy, was this a boring game! Sure, the Brits played with
discipline, ratching up a huge number of strong kicks but they failed to bring the
game to life with any goal-strikes even after 40 minutes of play!
The British scored over 200 kicks in the first half, compared with just 120 for the
Argentineans. Total yardage gained was in Britain's favor but the South
Americans easily weathered the Limey storm in a teacup.
It has to be said that for a nation of impoverished street-fighters, the Argentineans
showed great physical skills. Their complex diving movements, on and off the ball,
were far superior to that of their British counterparts.
But late into the first quarter, Britain's Owen Michaels sprinted into the
Argentinean goal-scoring area and was met with a firm, off-the-ball defensive
tackle by Argentinia's Carlos Somebody (please check name, Trudi - Frank).
Even though the contact was slight and no blood was visible, the umpire decided
to award a penalising kick for Britain. World-renowned wing man David Beckman
stepped up and easily placed the ball into the net with his foot. Not surprising,
seeing as none of the Argentinean players tried to tackle him! What is up with you
guys? You're never gonna win the World Soccer Cup playing like that, take it
from me!
Great Britain now progress to the second stage where they face Denmark, the
first country from Sweden ever to reach the knockout stages of the tournament.
Host nation Japan, who also play as South Korea, put on a fine show, as befits
the nation who invented soccer football in 1976. The Japanese matches have all
been great entertainment, and watching those little guys running around furiously
as they try to reach the ball has been truly hilarious. If only all the matches could
be this much fun!
Japan/South Korea now go on to face Turkey, the first country from the
Austro-Hungarian Empire ever to reach the second round.
And special praise must be reserved for Brazil, who have shown that being a
Third World country doesn't mean you can't be a fairly good soccer-playing
side. Some experts tip them to do well in the competition this year - although
the USA remain firm favorites.
In the second round Brazil will face Belgium, part of the Franco-Belgian
Republic.
Well, that's all I got for ya, folks. See you in the second round for more top
soccer football action. This is Frankie Truman, reporting exclusively for
urbanreflex.com!
World Cup Ends With Dramatic Exit For USA, By Frankie Truman, The Voice Of American Soccer Football
Hello again from South Korea, land of the rising sun!
Well I'm sad to report that against all expectations, Team USA have been
terminated from the International World Cup Contest by the Republic of
Germany.
Although a few matches still remain to be played, I know that for most of you
this signals the end of the tournament, and as a dedicated fan of soccer football
or 'the beautiful sport' as we call it, I can't help but agree with you! Team USA
have dazzled the world with their field running and goal-strike scoring and I just
hope the organizers can keep the audience interested in the whole thing now that
we have gone.
As for the game, well let me tell you, this was about more than just soccer
football!
Time-out for a history lesson: My British readers may not know this, but in the
1940's the USA fought the Second World War against the same country we
played against today - the Republic of Germany! I guess its hard for you guys to
understand, but playing this game of soccer football was sort of like fighting the
war all over again!
Anyway, I'm happy to report that my suggestion to the US coach to show the
team 'Saving Private Ryan' just before the game was taken up and I'm certain the
depiction of the massacre on Omaha beach did a lot to spur our boys on as they
faced their own 'D-Day'. Of course, the final result wasn't the same but there
you go.
As soon as the game began, USA dominated the important outer flanks and
occupied key play positions in the Germanic zones. The US players were the
best kickers throughout, moving the ball in all directions unlike the Germans who
mainly kicked the ball forwards. We scored five yellow-cards for body touches in
the non-striking zones, whilst Germany only managed one.
The goal-strike came in Minute 39, shot by one of the Germans in the in-field
zone using his head. Despite the USA's superior kicking and running scores,
the match adjudicator awarded the game to Germany by one goal-point to zero,
final score.
And so the Republic of Germany marches on. If only we could go back now and
drop a nuke on 'em! I know, I know - it's just wishful thinking!
In the other quad stage game, Great Britain were easily busted by the part-timers
from Brazilia and their star player Rodney Naldo, who I can exclusively reveal
is about to be signed by American soccer club the Detroit Soccerturions.
Brazilia now go on to face their neighbors Turkey, whilst Germany play the
host nation Japan/South Korea.
Now that competition is almost over, I, Frankie Truman, have some suggestions
for improving the game of soccer football:
For example, is it such a good idea to allow poorer nations such as Brazilia,
West Africa and Italy to compete in the World Cup of Soccer?
They may be full of enthusiasm but the players representing these countries have
very little to lose and are much more inclined to make reckless, foul plays than
their developed world counterparts - perhaps out of envy of our standards of
living, if nothing else.
You've gotta ask if the World Soccer Cup would be better if only countries with
half-decent economies were allowed to compete. I certainly think so and I'll be
writing to the W.F.A (World Football Association) asking them to consider this
proposal, along with smaller, square-shaped pitches, extra scoring zones and
only using female goalkeepers - ideas that Yours Truly has put forward many
times and which I'm glad to say are now gaining in popularity.
Well, that's all I got for ya, folks. Old Frankie has packed his bags and is heading
home, where I will be covering the International Hog Racing Championships live
from Dallas for WXTT-N. Early signs are this will be the closest contest in years
and I can hardly wait!
Team USA: You did your country proud. See you in four years time for more
exciting soccer football action! This is Frankie Truman, signing off for
urbanreflex.com!
Here goes:
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