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If smoking makes you happy, then by all means, smoke. What's the point in denying ourselves life's pleasures for a few more extra years in a hospital bed where you can't take a fucking piss by yourself if your life depended on it?

Is it as boring and insightful as "the hard way to quit smoking?"

I don't think too many people can relate to that but it does soound interesting. To me, it seems mainly pscological, perhaps something that occured or was contnually occuring during your childhood. I don't have to tell you about that, you're already a Freud fan.:D

You know, my young cousin has these exact symptoms. he was diagnosed with ADD, Attention deficit disorder. Perhaps it's curable, have you ever tried to get help? Although I think you're case is a little different. I remember my old English teacher had something very simmilar to yours. It was...