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Isaac Newton invented the cat flap.

Miaow

I can't see it, alas. At this moment my cat is lying on my chest, happily purring whilst digging his claws into me.

I have issues with people who are happy to be walking stereotypes, without any originality or own personality. Still, gotta luv 'em. Salt of the earth.

HeeHaw

Dull. Tissue jibes. Next it will be monthly jokes, and gay references. Try harder, much harder.

Surely you mean: Behave!!!!!!!! Just responding to your dig. Take it on the chin Old sport, or respond with effect.

Spelt.

As I thought, you are a typical 'ammer. Shove that hammer up your arse, cockney character: larger in hand, platitude humour, lads banter, "I'm a cock-an-knee, cor blimey, apples and pears, don't you just love'em!, Hello darlin', show us your tits!", hard as nails, thick as shit, witless, "it...

A message to Cock-a-knee: Supporting West Ham is a sign of brain disorder.

A message to Sheik: Google can seriously damage your brain.