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If anyone understands French, this is a draft of the letter I intend to put at the entrance of the dressing room when I go to the gym on Monday : À l’attention de la crapule qui a volé mes chaussures dans ce vestiaire le vendredi 16 juillet 2005 Chère ordure, Comment fut ton...

If you're a sweatomane like me, they're perfect. You can walk miles into them without releasing one drop. You can even wear them without socks, though your feet might hurt after a while. Simply the best shoes I have had for a long time.

The truth is I am really pissed off atm. Im just back from the gym, where I put all my stuff into the locker, as you do. But the locker wouldn't close properly so I put all my stuff back into another locker. EXCEPT for my brand new Gexo shoes. You know those classy Italian shoes with holes under...

Yep, it's all Claire's fault. She has a bad influence on me.

Why is this retard calling me kid when Im barely 8 years younger than him?

Jeeks, you have just earned my utmost respect for using the word SCHMET in the PM you've sent me. Honestly that made me piss from laughter. You say I've lost yours? Ah well, shit happens. How is Mohammed Freud racist though? And Nicole, here's a small lesson of Italian for you : "I panni...

You do but I don't, Mohammed Freud. Sayonara.

Yeah I wish I had been a kid in 1980's Lebanon :D

I not belittling I am observing. Now I must depart however. Just stop pretending you're Italian, k?

More pathetic is you unable to catch what I have just said. It seems not getting benefits after you turn 30 is a medal of honour.

Grammar* Nothing funny about illiteracy, seriously.

I am sure you do. You just shouldn't get paid for it. No merit at all if you don't.

It is clear that the Swedish welfare system is over-generous and sloth-generating. Societal suicide at its best.

I know you : you're an English teenager who wishes she was Italian and confuses "then" with "than" and writes "should of" instead of "should have". And jeeks : pathetic is still being at school in your 30's.

Let me try to stoop to your level : I know you are but what am I? And Totti is a maggot : I've met him. Have you?

You need to realize that Totti is a maggot.

You're welcome. Now go piss in a can for the sake of Goddess Ignorance.

"Hey dude, look at those guys over there having a constructive discussion. Let's go and hijack their thread" "Yeah dude, let's do that. It'll be da shit and we'll look so cool!" Retards.

Oh fvck.