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Musings on the English Language "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing." -- Robert Benchley Let's face it -- English is a crazy language! There's no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Realizations You're Not In College Any More You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed. Beers at lunch get you reprimanded. College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up. Your parents charge rent. The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, chips and cereal. It's...

:LOL: , good one

This is the fact about marriages!! The L Word: 6 weeks: I love U, I love U, I love U 6 months: Of course I love U 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose? Back from Work: 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home 6 months: BACK!! 6 years...

You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When... You answer the door before people knock. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. You ski uphill. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. You speed walk in your sleep. You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are...

:LOL:

>>>*a girls first time* >>> >>>(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy) >>> >>>It's your first time. As you lie back your >>> >>>muscles tighten. You put him >>> >>>off for a while searching for an excuse, but he >>> >>>;refuses to be swayed as he >>> >>>approaches you...

siooooooooooooo FunnY :LOL: One evening recently, a mother entered her daughter's bedroom to discover it empty. As she looked around, she spied a letter over the bed. With trembling hands and a terrible sense of premonition, she read.... Dear Mom; Please don't be mad, but I eloped...

A lady carrying her baby was getting into a public bus transportation The driver looked at her baby and said "This is the ugliest baby i've ever seen in my life" The lady got upset and ran into her seat grumbling She sat near by a gentelman who asked her " what's matter?" She...

:LOL:

Not so funny joke: There was three guys their name were Shut up, Trouble & Maners One day trouble got lost, Shut up and Maners went to the police to find Trouble. Maners stayed out side & Shut up went in. The police officer asked shut up "what 's your name"? He said shut up". The police...

Get Out of Bed by Diane Z. Shore ---------------------------------------------- !Get out of bed, you silly fool .Get up right now, it's time for school ,If you don't dress without a fuss !I'll throw you naked on the bus !Oh, Mom, don't make me go today .I'm feeling worse than...

Very smart -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son : "I will choose my own bride". Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter." Son : "Well, in that...

its not a joke , its a fact :/

by Dennis Leary Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion ****ing chain letters sent to me by people...

[63 Godzilla Problems] ( From the Movie ) By "Krillian" Pregnancy tests take a little longer than two seconds. Godzilla can outrun helicopters but he can't keep up to a taxi cab. You can't evacuate the entire island of Manhattan in a matter of hours. Helicopters can fly higher...

No need to say sorry , I'm the one who sould say sorry , not u , and u r right , it was not necessary , my bad , sorry

[ 49 Facts about Men :D ] Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the...