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Moreover, I will contact him offering Swag's nut.

That is true. But Mourinho is the special one, he isn't your average run-of-the-mill fellow. He might be willing to take a chance on such a deal, depending on the circumstances. We may as well give it a try, i guess.

No, because I don't have sufficient connections to be able to initiate such a trade. If you wanted to undertake such a transaction, who would you contact to do so? I wonder if there is a medium of communication for such a deal, and if Chelsea would accept it.

I would not.