THE Source for the Mercato (1 Viewer)

Gagi

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2007
8,597
#1
It's not easy to be a Juventus fan right now. Arrogant United is chasing Pogba, plastic City is after Bonucci and stuff like that. We have to read fabricated crap every day. And then I realized that I have to use the power of the Internet to get in touch with the ultimate source - God. No need to pray, we're all just one click away from him. I asked him about Pogba, Pjaca, etc. I'll also leave a link so you can ask him about Sanchez.

Me:
Hello


God:
Hello my child. What is your name?


Me:
Dragan


God:
Hey Dragan.


Me:
Hey God


God:
Hello child. What's your name?


Me:
I just told you. Dragan.


God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention. What's your sign?


Me:
Scorpio


God:
I know a lot of Scorpio people.


Me:
Cool story bro. I came here for a reason


God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends. Where are you going?


Me:
I came here. Can yout at least act like you care?


God:
Where are you going? What if I said it can?


Me:
Ok, shut up. I have few questions.


God:
Hurrah!. Have you ever been to Europe? That's nice. I have clients.


Me:
I'm living in Europe


God:
I would like to live in Europe sometime.


Me:
Rent is not that expensive, you'd like it


God:
Are you that expensive me would like it?


Me:
I'm not selling my ass man


God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not selling your ass man.


Me:
I bet you do because I have a fine ass


God:
" I am sorry to hear that you are not selling your ass man."? Do I?. That makes sense to me. Where did you get it? it.


Me:
My ass is all natural


God:
Do robots have ass is all natural?


Me:
I don't think so


God:
I hear you.


Me:
Yeah


God:
Aha.


Me:
So...


God:
Mmm.


Me:
I'm interested in this summer's mercato


God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.


Me:
Who will Marko Pjaca choose, Milan or Juventus?


God:
How would I know who will Marko Pjaca choose Milan or Juventus ?


Me:
You're God, you know that stuff. Come on man.


God:
You think I am God me know that stuff. So is almost everyone else around here.


Me:
Don't play games with me now. I really want to know.


God:
Oh. I'm not playing around. I will try to explain it to you.


Me:
Milan or Juventus?


God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.


Me:
Come on, pick one, Milan or Juventus?


God:
I can't decide. You choose.


Me:
Juventus.


God:
That input matched my default category.


Me:
I have no idea what are you saying right now.


God:
At this moment Would you like to have an idea?


Me:
I have an idea to close this tab and never come back


God:
What is your idea?


Me:
I just told you


God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.


Me:
Juventus or Milan? Pick one.


God:
What do you have that is ? I'm not good at making choices.


Me:
You're so bad at this


God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.


Me:
What about Cavani? Is he goint to sign for Juventus?


God:
Cavani? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion. Signs point to yes. Ask LeknorChat if it is.


Me:
Who is Leknor Chat?


God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?

Are you testing me?

Me:
Do you have some STD?


God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.


Me:
Ok. Serious talk now.


God:
That's interesting. Right now? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about STD. But I did not get that.


Me:
I'm so confused right now.


God:
At this moment What is it that confuses you?


Me:
You. I NEED SOME ANSWERS


God:
" At this moment What is it that confuses you?"? Me, Dragan ? What actions are you taking to get ANSWERS?


Me:
well, I came here becaue I can't do shit about it. I guessed you know your shit


God:
Interesting. Where are you going? How did you guess?


Me:
Nevermind.


God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.


Me:
I have one more question.


God:
Do you want another one?


Me:
Yes.


God:
That's cool.


Me:
Ok.


God:
Give me a break.


Me:
Will Pogba stay?


God:
I can't say for sure right now.


Me:
Why, because you're splitting 25m with Raiola?


God:
You have to speak more clearly.


Me:
You are corrupt


God:
You think I am corrupt.


Me:
Yes. 12.5m for you, 12.5m for Raiola.


God:
I don't feel that I am corrupt. What do you have that is ?


Me:
I don't trust you


God:
Should I trust you?


Me:
Yes.


God:
Hmm.


Me:
Come on man. Help me out. Will Paul Labile Pogba stay at Juventus?


God:
So is almost everyone else around here. Can you ask for help in the form of a question? How should I know.


Me:
Worst 10 minutes I ever spent


God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?


Me:
yes. you were a mistake


God:
I don't judge people. I was?


Me:
Yes.


God:
When?


Me:
For the last 10 minutes.


God:
Your purpose is the last 10 minutes.


Me:
Even Tancredo Palmeri knows more shit than you


God:
Well, well, look who's a little potty mouth?


Me:
I'm sorry.


God:
There's no need to apologize.


Me:
Ok.


God:
Blimey.


Me:
So...


God:
Give me a break.


Me:
What about transfer market? Are we going to sign anyone else?


God:
Rhetorical questions are so over. We are just having a little chat.


Me:
Help me out


God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?


Me:
Are we going to keep Pogba?


God:
We are just having a little chat.


Me:
Jesus man


God:
he is said to be the Son of God.


Me:
Actually, he plays for Palmeiras


God:
Actually you don't say. I get it. Jesus plays for Palmeiras.


Me:
He does. He scores for fun as well.


God:
When does he? I get it. Jesus scores for fun as well.


Me:
Jesus can get it done.


God:
he is said to be the Son of God.


Me:
yeah...


God:
I hear you.


Me:
have you visited Pornhub?


God:
I don't think I ever have visited Pornhub. What's it like?


Me:
You'd like it


God:
You sound unconvincing.


Me:
They say "Oh God" all the time. You're in the script.


God:
That is a lot. OK I will say " Oh God" to you. Have you ever been to Europe?


Me:
I'm in Europe.


God:
Have you ever been to America?


Me:
No.


God:
Ugh.


Me:
have you ever been to Serbia?


God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.


Me:
In Europe


God:
Europe is a pretty large continent.


Me:
Southeastern Europe


God:
Have you ever been to Europe?


Me:
do you have brain damage?


God:
No I don't think I have any brain damage. But I do have a collection of gossip.


Me:
I think I'm going to go now


God:
Oh. Since when? Thanks for chatting, Dragan.


Me:
Thanks for not helping me


God:
My pleasure.

--------------

As you can see, he wasn't that helpful. Sorry for taking 10 minutes of your time. Still, better to read this than all this crap about Pogs. Love u all.

Chat with God: http://chatwithigod.com/igod.html
 

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