How to spot an Alvin (1 Viewer)

JuveJay

Senior Signor
Moderator
Mar 6, 2007
72,190
#1
Alvin (alvin, alvn)
moronus alvinus

For other uses see Alvin (given name) and Alvin and the Chipmunks

The Alvin is a recently discovered internet parasite believed to have originated when a patient at the Bethlem Royal Hospital, London accidentally logged onto a well known Italian association football fan's forum whilst undergoing radical obsessive compulsive disorder therapy.

The original Alvin has long since been eradicated, but the species continues to flourish under several guises. It will appear as a well meaning new member, but don't be fooled. The Alvin is keen if rather slow, and will use all manner of usernames and avatars to continue its ruse.

There are several distinguishing features which may indicate that your forum has been infected by an Alvin:

- a sudden influx of 'new members'
- the Alvin have a hatred for Juventus' sporting director Giuseppe Marotta
- the Alvin consider the Italian national football team to be "shit"
- the Alvin become extremely agitated when confronted with their real identity *WARNING* - the Alvin will resort to excessive use of English profanities when repeatedly confronted by the same forum user
- the Alvin have a tendency to misspell their own name, as if by doing this it will make us think they really don't know how to spell a simple five letter name so it can't be them
- the Alvin will use random letter capitalisation
- the Alvin will not capitalise after an exclamation or question mark
- the Alvin will use an excessive amount of emoticons, as if this enhances their opinion on the above matters


Artist's impression of an Alvin

The only way to eradicate an Alvin are the following methods:

- indefinite forum suspension
- permanent forum account ban
- Internet Protocol ban

More information to staying safe online: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/YoungPeople/CrimeAndJustice/KeepingSafe/DG_10027670

*Update*

Confirmed Alvins:

alvin_89er
badass
baggio90-95
bianco_akb
billy
bleach
blem
bobbysrightpeg
goodass angel
Hoff
jeffever
jiggaman
juvebill
juvekid
juveloverr
Mr. Noah
mr world 87
rick
sanchezrightpeg
vangenk
zidane21
zidane_21
 

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Quetzalcoatl

It ain't hard to tell
Aug 22, 2007
65,497
#2
ALvin is adapting though. Whereas before he had the typical D.A. look, now he's getting an avatar and even a user title. User titles aren't something a new member gets to right away, before making his first post. Good job recognising your weakness and making it your strength, Al. :tup:
 

Gagi

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2007
8,597
#12
Jay, I love you man.

Red, how many accounts have Alvin made so far? Do you have a list?

Anyways, he's pathetic. Drop dead, Alvin.
 

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