Small Talk
Ruud Gullit
No point telling you he's a former European champion, World Player of the Year and manager of Chelsea, Newcastle and Feyenoord. Because Ruud Gullit needs no introduction.
Hi Ruud, how's it going?
[Suavely] Good. It's going real good.
A pleasure to meet you, hopefully. Now, you had a chat show on Dutch TV last year, who was your best guest?
Nelson Mandela.
Ah yes, the man to whom you dedicated your 1987 World Player of the Year award. Did he live up to your expectations?
Oh, he more than did. He has an amazing aura about him. He's truly inspirational.
Article continues
Any guests you missed out on that you'd have loved to have interviewed?
[Gives serious thought to the matter] I'd like to meet god. Not to question it, just to have a peak at what it is. I say 'it' because we don't know what it is.
Guess you will meet it some day. Unless, of course, you're headed for hell ...
[Earnestly] No, I think everybody goes to god.
Speaking of which, is Diego Maradona the greatest player you ever played against?
Undoubtedly.
And is Frank Sinatra the greatest singer you've ever sung with?
[Pained] Oh no! That's a myth, I never sang with him, I don't know how that rumour got started. And I never played saxophone with Bill Clinton either before you ask me about that.
[Skipping hastily on to the next question] Well, is it at least true that you do an occasional gig with your reggae band?
No, not really. All that happened was that I launched a record a few years back after being asked to do so for charity. All of a sudden, people started saying I wanted to be the new Bob Marley.
Right, maybe we're on safer ground with football. That was you captaining the Netherlands to glory in Euro 88, wasn't it?
[Smiles] Yes, I think that was my best achievement in football. I've kept all my medals but I don't really have many photos, but just the other day someone gave me a huge mounted photo of me in action in the Euro 88 final. It's really good and I've hung it up at home.
So winning Euro 88 was better than scoring two goals for AC Milan in the European Cup final?
Yes, because that was for a club, though of course it was nice to be part of.
Which is more intense: a Milan derby or a Holland v Germany World Cup clash?
I think the Milan rivalry is more extreme because it covers the whole town. But maybe that's because I never played against Germany in Holland. You see, the pressure comes from your own fans. We played them away a lot and there were always lots of Dutch fans but you don't feel it as deeply as when you're surrounded by your own people and in your own environment.
And who was the dirtiest player you ever came up against?
Ferri of Inter. He was very, very tough - but not dirty in fairness, just very difficult to play against.
If you were Fifa's supreme leader, what's the first football rule you'd change?
[Immediately, and as if sharing a mighty burden] I'd make club football like the World Cup, insofar as you could have your whole squad on the bench for all matches. You'd be allowed to use up to seven substitutes during the game, but only one in the last 15 minutes so that there'd be no time-wasting. I say this because nowadays clubs have a squad of 22 to 24 players and it's important for a manager to be able to let everyone feel like they're participating.
What's the last CD you bought?
[Thinks for an age] If I remember rightly, it was a compilation of soul songs from the 70s and 80s.
What's your favourite TV show, now that your own one is off the air?
Seinfeld.
And what was the last book you read?
[Agonised look as he grapples for the title] I can't remember the name of it. But it was something spiritual.
What's your poison?
Apple juice. Though that's probably not what you call poison.
Who's the last person you'd invite to a party? [Emphatically] The devil.
Finally, can you tell us a joke?
[Rummages through his mind, then smiles as if satisfied] Ok, here's one. A guy with a stutter is lost so he stops a passer-by to ask for directions. He says, "ex-ex-c-c-c-c-use m-m-m-m-m-me, c-c-can you t-t-t-t-tell me the way to the st-st-st-st-st-stuttering sch-sch-sch-school? And the passer-by replies, "what do you want to go there for, you can already do it!"
Boom boom! Thanks for your time, Ruud.
No problem, Small Talk.
http://sport.guardian.co.uk/smalltalk/story/0,13852,1565756,00.html
Ruud Gullit
No point telling you he's a former European champion, World Player of the Year and manager of Chelsea, Newcastle and Feyenoord. Because Ruud Gullit needs no introduction.
Hi Ruud, how's it going?
[Suavely] Good. It's going real good.
A pleasure to meet you, hopefully. Now, you had a chat show on Dutch TV last year, who was your best guest?
Nelson Mandela.
Ah yes, the man to whom you dedicated your 1987 World Player of the Year award. Did he live up to your expectations?
Oh, he more than did. He has an amazing aura about him. He's truly inspirational.
Article continues
Any guests you missed out on that you'd have loved to have interviewed?
[Gives serious thought to the matter] I'd like to meet god. Not to question it, just to have a peak at what it is. I say 'it' because we don't know what it is.
Guess you will meet it some day. Unless, of course, you're headed for hell ...
[Earnestly] No, I think everybody goes to god.
Speaking of which, is Diego Maradona the greatest player you ever played against?
Undoubtedly.
And is Frank Sinatra the greatest singer you've ever sung with?
[Pained] Oh no! That's a myth, I never sang with him, I don't know how that rumour got started. And I never played saxophone with Bill Clinton either before you ask me about that.
[Skipping hastily on to the next question] Well, is it at least true that you do an occasional gig with your reggae band?
No, not really. All that happened was that I launched a record a few years back after being asked to do so for charity. All of a sudden, people started saying I wanted to be the new Bob Marley.
Right, maybe we're on safer ground with football. That was you captaining the Netherlands to glory in Euro 88, wasn't it?
[Smiles] Yes, I think that was my best achievement in football. I've kept all my medals but I don't really have many photos, but just the other day someone gave me a huge mounted photo of me in action in the Euro 88 final. It's really good and I've hung it up at home.
So winning Euro 88 was better than scoring two goals for AC Milan in the European Cup final?
Yes, because that was for a club, though of course it was nice to be part of.
Which is more intense: a Milan derby or a Holland v Germany World Cup clash?
I think the Milan rivalry is more extreme because it covers the whole town. But maybe that's because I never played against Germany in Holland. You see, the pressure comes from your own fans. We played them away a lot and there were always lots of Dutch fans but you don't feel it as deeply as when you're surrounded by your own people and in your own environment.
And who was the dirtiest player you ever came up against?
Ferri of Inter. He was very, very tough - but not dirty in fairness, just very difficult to play against.
If you were Fifa's supreme leader, what's the first football rule you'd change?
[Immediately, and as if sharing a mighty burden] I'd make club football like the World Cup, insofar as you could have your whole squad on the bench for all matches. You'd be allowed to use up to seven substitutes during the game, but only one in the last 15 minutes so that there'd be no time-wasting. I say this because nowadays clubs have a squad of 22 to 24 players and it's important for a manager to be able to let everyone feel like they're participating.
What's the last CD you bought?
[Thinks for an age] If I remember rightly, it was a compilation of soul songs from the 70s and 80s.
What's your favourite TV show, now that your own one is off the air?
Seinfeld.
And what was the last book you read?
[Agonised look as he grapples for the title] I can't remember the name of it. But it was something spiritual.
What's your poison?
Apple juice. Though that's probably not what you call poison.
Who's the last person you'd invite to a party? [Emphatically] The devil.
Finally, can you tell us a joke?
[Rummages through his mind, then smiles as if satisfied] Ok, here's one. A guy with a stutter is lost so he stops a passer-by to ask for directions. He says, "ex-ex-c-c-c-c-use m-m-m-m-m-me, c-c-can you t-t-t-t-tell me the way to the st-st-st-st-st-stuttering sch-sch-sch-school? And the passer-by replies, "what do you want to go there for, you can already do it!"
Boom boom! Thanks for your time, Ruud.
No problem, Small Talk.
http://sport.guardian.co.uk/smalltalk/story/0,13852,1565756,00.html
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